I just read my last posting from about 5 months ago. Lots of things have happened since then and some things have stayed the same. The good thing is that I still have my wonderful close friends. I have learned to be a better friend with friends I was considering unfriending but realized I had too many years vested and maybe the friendship would just need to take on a different form. The new format is working well so far. I have found a new form of working out that works for me. One of my bffs introduced my to Zumba. Its this awesome dance workout that moves your entire body and gives you an awesome workout and gets you all hot and sweaty. Which is why I have managed to lose some lbs since I last blogged. I have fallen off the wagon a bit on account of the holidays and also my Zumba instructor has taken 2 weeks off for vacation. I know...excuses excuses....its not like I couldn't go to the gym!! But you know...whatever. I am going to do everything in moderation. Like today for example I went to the mall and shopped for about 5 hours and then had a burger and fries for dinner! haha....trust me, by body is not liking it. I am feeling a little nauseous now as I type.
Dating wise, I have been on 1 date since the summer. I went out with this guy who I actually really liked.....but he just wasn't that into me. It took me a few weeks of trying to fool myself that maybe he really was too busy......but nope....he was just not into me and thats ok. I can say that without feeling bad....ummm....3 months later!
Tonight on facebook I unfriended a guy I dated. I think we dated some time last year. At first when I became his friend I cared about what he was up to, he new live in girlfriend (uh huh), and just what was going on with him. So tonight I was on facebook minding my own business and I saw a bunch of lame pictures from his Christmas party. He was in the pictures and so was his girlfriend....I looked through ALL of them of course...but then I was like...you know, I really don't care anymore. So I unfriended him.
I have been on a "I just don't care" kinda mood today. I also said the same regarding someone I was good friends with many moons ago when I was asked how she was doing. My response was, "I don't know, and I don't care".
Monday, December 28, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
So Sad.....(weight = I have no clue)
*Sigh*. I am so sad to report that on Thurs 7/23/09, my puppy passed away. She was 14. She lived a long happy life, but it still doesnt make it any easier.
I knew she was going to pass away some day, but I never thought the loss would affect me so much. I just sobbed and fell to her side when I saw her. She looked so peaceful curled up on the grass. I thought she was just napping in the sun the same way she always did.....but she wasn't.
In the past I never understood why people took their pet's passing so hard, and now I totally understand. I lost someone from my family.
I will always remember her. I will always miss her. I will always love her.
Thats all I have to say for today. I hope my next blog is not as gloomy.
I knew she was going to pass away some day, but I never thought the loss would affect me so much. I just sobbed and fell to her side when I saw her. She looked so peaceful curled up on the grass. I thought she was just napping in the sun the same way she always did.....but she wasn't.
In the past I never understood why people took their pet's passing so hard, and now I totally understand. I lost someone from my family.
I will always remember her. I will always miss her. I will always love her.
Thats all I have to say for today. I hope my next blog is not as gloomy.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Mixed Day - 58 lbs
Yes....a 2lb loss. I think it might be water weight, but who cares, I will take it!!!
Today was a mixed day. I realize I am making myself miserable at work. I find myself going out of my way to be extra bitchy to my useless helper. Maybe I should refer to her as my unhelper, because that is what she is. Ugh.
At the end of it all, I don't have to be mean to her. I think me being on her ass so much just makes her try to think more (not a whole lot more, but I do get the sense she is trying)...and at this point, I need her to be herself so that things can take their natural course.
Tomorrow, I am just going to be normal. Hopefully she doesn't do something terribly unhelpful to upset me. I noticed that I my bad mood followed me after work, to the point that I got snappy with one of my good friends, was pissy at the Zumba staff for discussing my payment status with someone else, and was annoyed with the lame front desk person for not paying attention to me quick enough when I first arrived to check in. I guess it also doesn't help that I am PMsing.
But, on a lighter note, I ended the day really well. I went to my Zumba class, managed to un-annoy myself, shook my ass, was able to follow the steps better, and just felt good once it was all over.
Oh, before I forget, I still have not gotten my period (but I am sure I will be getting it this week), but the thought of being preggers crossed my mind, and it didn't freak me out. Crazy huh.
Today was a mixed day. I realize I am making myself miserable at work. I find myself going out of my way to be extra bitchy to my useless helper. Maybe I should refer to her as my unhelper, because that is what she is. Ugh.
At the end of it all, I don't have to be mean to her. I think me being on her ass so much just makes her try to think more (not a whole lot more, but I do get the sense she is trying)...and at this point, I need her to be herself so that things can take their natural course.
Tomorrow, I am just going to be normal. Hopefully she doesn't do something terribly unhelpful to upset me. I noticed that I my bad mood followed me after work, to the point that I got snappy with one of my good friends, was pissy at the Zumba staff for discussing my payment status with someone else, and was annoyed with the lame front desk person for not paying attention to me quick enough when I first arrived to check in. I guess it also doesn't help that I am PMsing.
But, on a lighter note, I ended the day really well. I went to my Zumba class, managed to un-annoy myself, shook my ass, was able to follow the steps better, and just felt good once it was all over.
Oh, before I forget, I still have not gotten my period (but I am sure I will be getting it this week), but the thought of being preggers crossed my mind, and it didn't freak me out. Crazy huh.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Blegh - 60 lbs
Yeah.....60 lbs!!!!
Its almost 1 am and my stomach is growling. I can not allow myself to consume food past 8 pm. I need to start going to bed earlier so that I am not up this late anymore. It will help me with the hunger pangs. Today food wise I was so-so. I had 1/4 of a chocolate croissant (normally I would have had the entire thing, and possible a piece of some other one), a turkey sandwich for lunch, cherries as an afternoon snack, and an empanda for dinner. I had 2 diet cokes about 2 bottles of water. I need to drink more water. Not the greatest food day, but not terrible either.
But I am annoyed with myself for gaining an additional 1/2 lb since last week. I guess all the drinking and late night meals got the best of me. ugh.
Today I got a call from the Tall Dark and Handsome Bouncer. I think he only calls me when he wakes up horny on Monday's or something. I would pick up the phone, I know he is only calling to see if I can come over in the evening to his place. Not that I wouldn't mind some good sex, but his place is gross, and i refuse to go back to his place again and there is no way he is coming to my house....so no sexy time for either of us!!
Its almost 1 am and my stomach is growling. I can not allow myself to consume food past 8 pm. I need to start going to bed earlier so that I am not up this late anymore. It will help me with the hunger pangs. Today food wise I was so-so. I had 1/4 of a chocolate croissant (normally I would have had the entire thing, and possible a piece of some other one), a turkey sandwich for lunch, cherries as an afternoon snack, and an empanda for dinner. I had 2 diet cokes about 2 bottles of water. I need to drink more water. Not the greatest food day, but not terrible either.
But I am annoyed with myself for gaining an additional 1/2 lb since last week. I guess all the drinking and late night meals got the best of me. ugh.
Today I got a call from the Tall Dark and Handsome Bouncer. I think he only calls me when he wakes up horny on Monday's or something. I would pick up the phone, I know he is only calling to see if I can come over in the evening to his place. Not that I wouldn't mind some good sex, but his place is gross, and i refuse to go back to his place again and there is no way he is coming to my house....so no sexy time for either of us!!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Arrggghhh = 59.5 lbs
I weighed myself this morning and OMG.....I have gained weight. blegh. I had set a mini goal for myself in time for my b-day which is in about 3 weeks. I may still have some time to get to it, but I am still so annoyed with myself. Before I had a bigger weight loss goal of 50 lbs to loose, but since weighing myself this morning....I need to add 9.5 lbs more to this. OMG, where the "F" did I get these 9.5 extra lbs from? Oh yeah, the chips, chocolate covered pretzels, 2nd helpings of BBQ, late night meals/snacks, and chocolates through out the day. I am really so annoyed with myself. I should have known something was up when I didn't need the belt for my jeans that were fitting loose around the waist a few weeks ago.
BUT....its never too late to start. I say this of course, after already having indulged in some left over cake for dinner. blegh. Wow....59.5lbs!!!! Seeing it in writing is making it worse!! Going forward I am going to track my weight loss goal. I want to feel accountable some how, and seeing here in the title of this blog makes it even scarier. Hopefully by the time my birthday rolls around I will need my belt again and the number in the title of my blog will be less than 59.5lbs!!!
BUT....its never too late to start. I say this of course, after already having indulged in some left over cake for dinner. blegh. Wow....59.5lbs!!!! Seeing it in writing is making it worse!! Going forward I am going to track my weight loss goal. I want to feel accountable some how, and seeing here in the title of this blog makes it even scarier. Hopefully by the time my birthday rolls around I will need my belt again and the number in the title of my blog will be less than 59.5lbs!!!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Its a Wrap!
Wow, so today, I went back and forth on the idea of meeting the Poet in the evening. He let me know that he didn't have money to spend aka if we go out, I am paying. I told him it was not a big deal. Last time I paid for him I didn't mind at all. It wasn't a big deal. But tonight....OMG, it was a big deal. So I get to the place we're meeting and he is already there peddling his product. OMG.....so I just walked right past him, I thought he saw me, but he didn't. I went to the bar and ordered my Stella. I sat down and some girl complimented the blouse I was wearing and then some guy sitting near me asked what I was drinking (since I was sipping me beer through a straw). The guy who asked was kinda cute and married! blegh.
So I am sitting there sipping my beer and then like 10 minutes later the Poet is calling me. I tell him I am sitting right behind him, he totally did not know I was there. So he comes over and gives me a hug and then proceeds to ask me if I had eaten dinner, I told him yes (it was past 10 pm), he then told me he had not and that he was probably going to need to leave early blah blah blah, and I was like...here is some money, get something. I was soooo bothered that I had to give him money. I was like OMG...even though I had told him I would take care of it. But its like, come on guy. I was so turned off. Then the girl who had complimented me on my blouse says, "Hey Poet". and I was like, "oh, you know her?" and he was like, "yeah, I talked to her outside". Note that before he had said that, I saw her picking up a business card and the guys she was with were kinda laughing at this business card. Turns out the business card belongs to the Poet. ugh. So the Poet orders his meal and beer and then asked if I had more money because he needed more money to pay for his food, beer, and tip. OMG. I was so fucken annoyed. I was just like...OMG....even though I know I told him I would take care of it earlier. But its like, come on guy....fucken eat at home if you know you don't have money to eat out. Especially since we were meeting late in the evening. Don't expect the girl to pay for your drinks, dinner, and then give you a sex.
I wanted to leave so badly and I couldn't find the moment to leave. I almost just wanted to give him more cash for his bill and leave, but I felt bad. So then he proceeds to make himself even more attractive by telling me that he officially applied for unemployment today. The girl from before then leans over and asked me, "Do you work with him?" OMG.....and I was appalled that she would even suggest it. I said , "No". She then asked how I knew him. I told her that we were just casual friends. OMG. At that moment is when I had the, "What the fuck am I doing here with him?" moment. So I gave him some BS about having to get up early the next morning and having to leave. I suggested he stay so he could continue "working" the crowd, but in reality, I just wanted to avoid him walking to my car and thinking he was going to get a kiss or whatever. So I bid him farewell and gave him a 1 arm hug with a tap. Yes, I know, very romantic.
What most annoyed me tonight was that he couldn't just be there waiting to see me. He is even more broke than I thought. He literally asked me for more money. He didn't compliment me once. I mean, strangers gave me more compliments than him. And he totally grossed me out when he was done eating because he announced that he had to go pee while scratching/readjusting himself over this pants and I could smell the disgusting chicken nachos he had had for dinner.
So basically, I went to the bar tonight to pay for his dinner and beer. Seriously, I should have stayed home and saved myself the money. BUT, as my good friend told me tonight after I texted her a recap of what happened with the Poet, at least now I am done and I am not left wondering where I stand with him. I really do feel like tonight was the closure I needed.
The man I decided to share my time and body with has to be deserving of me. And I don't need a Richy Rich, I just want a man who has his shit together. So the fact I was incredibly turned off, really helped me realize that I am really done with the Poet and I don't want any further contact with him. And of course he will be a distant memory once I get my period in July. We used protection both times we had sex, but still.
So I am sitting there sipping my beer and then like 10 minutes later the Poet is calling me. I tell him I am sitting right behind him, he totally did not know I was there. So he comes over and gives me a hug and then proceeds to ask me if I had eaten dinner, I told him yes (it was past 10 pm), he then told me he had not and that he was probably going to need to leave early blah blah blah, and I was like...here is some money, get something. I was soooo bothered that I had to give him money. I was like OMG...even though I had told him I would take care of it. But its like, come on guy. I was so turned off. Then the girl who had complimented me on my blouse says, "Hey Poet". and I was like, "oh, you know her?" and he was like, "yeah, I talked to her outside". Note that before he had said that, I saw her picking up a business card and the guys she was with were kinda laughing at this business card. Turns out the business card belongs to the Poet. ugh. So the Poet orders his meal and beer and then asked if I had more money because he needed more money to pay for his food, beer, and tip. OMG. I was so fucken annoyed. I was just like...OMG....even though I know I told him I would take care of it earlier. But its like, come on guy....fucken eat at home if you know you don't have money to eat out. Especially since we were meeting late in the evening. Don't expect the girl to pay for your drinks, dinner, and then give you a sex.
I wanted to leave so badly and I couldn't find the moment to leave. I almost just wanted to give him more cash for his bill and leave, but I felt bad. So then he proceeds to make himself even more attractive by telling me that he officially applied for unemployment today. The girl from before then leans over and asked me, "Do you work with him?" OMG.....and I was appalled that she would even suggest it. I said , "No". She then asked how I knew him. I told her that we were just casual friends. OMG. At that moment is when I had the, "What the fuck am I doing here with him?" moment. So I gave him some BS about having to get up early the next morning and having to leave. I suggested he stay so he could continue "working" the crowd, but in reality, I just wanted to avoid him walking to my car and thinking he was going to get a kiss or whatever. So I bid him farewell and gave him a 1 arm hug with a tap. Yes, I know, very romantic.
What most annoyed me tonight was that he couldn't just be there waiting to see me. He is even more broke than I thought. He literally asked me for more money. He didn't compliment me once. I mean, strangers gave me more compliments than him. And he totally grossed me out when he was done eating because he announced that he had to go pee while scratching/readjusting himself over this pants and I could smell the disgusting chicken nachos he had had for dinner.
So basically, I went to the bar tonight to pay for his dinner and beer. Seriously, I should have stayed home and saved myself the money. BUT, as my good friend told me tonight after I texted her a recap of what happened with the Poet, at least now I am done and I am not left wondering where I stand with him. I really do feel like tonight was the closure I needed.
The man I decided to share my time and body with has to be deserving of me. And I don't need a Richy Rich, I just want a man who has his shit together. So the fact I was incredibly turned off, really helped me realize that I am really done with the Poet and I don't want any further contact with him. And of course he will be a distant memory once I get my period in July. We used protection both times we had sex, but still.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
A Fat Girl's Dinner
OMG.....I had terrible things to eat tonight. Ugh.
I had the following for dinner:
1 slice of meat loaf
1.5 glasses of wine
1 scoop of ice cream
Now its almost 2 am and I feel gross. blegh.
I had the following for dinner:
1 slice of meat loaf
1.5 glasses of wine
1 scoop of ice cream
Now its almost 2 am and I feel gross. blegh.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Wine is Yummy!!!
Ahhh, I am sitting in bed. Had a nice dinner consisting of 2 chicken egg rolls from Trader Joe and a glass of wine (I am seriously considering 2nd glass of wine). My boss was not a bitch today, helper was only in 1/2 day, and the Poet texted me letting me know we should get together this week. I think I may take him up on his offer. Possibly Thurs, since I have Friday off. I will be able to sleep in all relaxed. Life ain't so bad all of a sudden.
(sipping 2nd glass of wine)
Oh, today I did something bad. I continued the texting banter with my old HS friend. On Sat he told me he was drunk, I told him I was drunk at a movie. He asked when we could go and be drunk together at a movie. (insert: today I did something bad) I said, Any time, going to the movies while tipsy is one of my favorite things to do! To which (of course) he responded, When are we going to do it? haha.
Ok, so this is where the bad me comes in.....I have never been with a black guy. I don't think I'd ever go as far as to having sex with him, but I wouldn't mind a little black man attention. OMG, maybe its the wine typing!! hahaha...I am terrible. I think I need to have the Poet come over and do me soon! so that I really don't do something I'll regret later on.
(sipping 2nd glass of wine)
Oh, today I did something bad. I continued the texting banter with my old HS friend. On Sat he told me he was drunk, I told him I was drunk at a movie. He asked when we could go and be drunk together at a movie. (insert: today I did something bad) I said, Any time, going to the movies while tipsy is one of my favorite things to do! To which (of course) he responded, When are we going to do it? haha.
Ok, so this is where the bad me comes in.....I have never been with a black guy. I don't think I'd ever go as far as to having sex with him, but I wouldn't mind a little black man attention. OMG, maybe its the wine typing!! hahaha...I am terrible. I think I need to have the Poet come over and do me soon! so that I really don't do something I'll regret later on.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Fucken Poet
haha....I just typed the title of tonight's blog and it made me laugh because I can not believe the fucken Poet got to me. He got to me because ALL weekend I have noticed that he has not called me!! errrrr. I honestly thought I would hear from him at least in the evening asking if he could come over, but nope, nothing. He didn't give me the chance to deny him sex. errrrr
Ok, enough about that.
This weekend was pretty cool. Yesterday was a bit of a blur, oh yeah, now I remember. Yesterday I got tortured at the nail salon. I made the terrible mistake of getting this hard coating on my nails (aka fake nails) and I wanted them OFF and it hurt! But now at least they are just a bad memory and I will never do it again. (I got the nail treatment around the time I met the Poet. Maybe I got rid of 2 things I am not doing again this weekend).
After the torture at the nail salon, I went to dinner with my mom, relaxed for a few hours, and then one of my good friends came over and we went to the movies. My friend is so awesome because no matter what our plans are, we always have a really good time. We were only suppose to go to the movies, then as we drove to the movies, we decided we would go have some ice cream prior to the movies, but ended up having a bottle of wine instead! Ha!! Once we finally got to the movie I quickly got really mellow, tired, and sleepy. OMG, I could barely keep my eyes open. It was a little torturous sitting there, trying to keep awake, while watching an action packed 3 hour movie! So much for a night at the movies.
Today I went to a baby shower and WOW.....so many women. I had not been in a place with soooooooo many women in a very long time. It was nice (really freakin hot), but it was all very nice. Its always really great to see all the girls.
One thing that did happen this weekend was my old HS friend who kept texting me and asking me what I was up to. I think he wants to see me again. The only problem is that I don't want to see him again. I mean, I wouldn't mind hanging out with him, as friends, but I think he is interested in something more. He's a nice guy, good career, nice family, but I am just not attracted to him. Sucks.
So tomorrow is going to be Monday and I want to....
1. Not let me lame staff get to me. Especially because its a short week and we have a lot to accomplish before the week ends.
2. I will try and eat healthier. I am going to try and possibly go to the gym. I am really looking forward to Zumba on Tues night, but I definitely need more than 1 evening of exercise.
3. I am going to try and go to sleep at a decent hour every night. I have a terrible habit of falling asleep until after 2 am, and then in the morning I don't want to get up.
blegh...
Ok, enough about that.
This weekend was pretty cool. Yesterday was a bit of a blur, oh yeah, now I remember. Yesterday I got tortured at the nail salon. I made the terrible mistake of getting this hard coating on my nails (aka fake nails) and I wanted them OFF and it hurt! But now at least they are just a bad memory and I will never do it again. (I got the nail treatment around the time I met the Poet. Maybe I got rid of 2 things I am not doing again this weekend).
After the torture at the nail salon, I went to dinner with my mom, relaxed for a few hours, and then one of my good friends came over and we went to the movies. My friend is so awesome because no matter what our plans are, we always have a really good time. We were only suppose to go to the movies, then as we drove to the movies, we decided we would go have some ice cream prior to the movies, but ended up having a bottle of wine instead! Ha!! Once we finally got to the movie I quickly got really mellow, tired, and sleepy. OMG, I could barely keep my eyes open. It was a little torturous sitting there, trying to keep awake, while watching an action packed 3 hour movie! So much for a night at the movies.
Today I went to a baby shower and WOW.....so many women. I had not been in a place with soooooooo many women in a very long time. It was nice (really freakin hot), but it was all very nice. Its always really great to see all the girls.
One thing that did happen this weekend was my old HS friend who kept texting me and asking me what I was up to. I think he wants to see me again. The only problem is that I don't want to see him again. I mean, I wouldn't mind hanging out with him, as friends, but I think he is interested in something more. He's a nice guy, good career, nice family, but I am just not attracted to him. Sucks.
So tomorrow is going to be Monday and I want to....
1. Not let me lame staff get to me. Especially because its a short week and we have a lot to accomplish before the week ends.
2. I will try and eat healthier. I am going to try and possibly go to the gym. I am really looking forward to Zumba on Tues night, but I definitely need more than 1 evening of exercise.
3. I am going to try and go to sleep at a decent hour every night. I have a terrible habit of falling asleep until after 2 am, and then in the morning I don't want to get up.
blegh...
Friday, June 26, 2009
TGIF...and then some!
Omg, this week has been too much for me. Yesterday was a terrible day. Michael Jackson died (6/25) and I had a painful 45 minute review with my little helper at work.
But it is finally Friday. I survived the week, and tomorrow is the weekend to relax, gather my thoughts, spend time with family and friends, and mentally prepare for a new week.
I am not sure if I will be spending time with The Poet this weekend. He is being lame, and I don't think I care enough to do anything about it. It is what it is. I was going to try and help him with some great ideas for his business venture, but I don't think its worth my effort. I don't know what to think about him. Earlier in the week we talked about spending time together this weekend, so when my good friend asked if we could hang out on Sat, I decided to call him and see if we were still on for Sat or not. He said that maybe I should hang with my friend because he was going to be promoting his product in the evening. And its like, how can I get on his case for that? Whatever. I was suppose to call him tonight to discuss further, but there is nothing to discuss. I asked if we were hanging out tomorrow, he said to go with plan B instead, so there you go, nothing left to discuss.
If we're only meant to have a physical relationship, then fine. I will call him only when I am horny and need a warm body. I have had such a draining week that the last thing on my mind is sex at the moment. I will hold off on calling him and see if he decides to call me. blegh. So lame.
But it is finally Friday. I survived the week, and tomorrow is the weekend to relax, gather my thoughts, spend time with family and friends, and mentally prepare for a new week.
I am not sure if I will be spending time with The Poet this weekend. He is being lame, and I don't think I care enough to do anything about it. It is what it is. I was going to try and help him with some great ideas for his business venture, but I don't think its worth my effort. I don't know what to think about him. Earlier in the week we talked about spending time together this weekend, so when my good friend asked if we could hang out on Sat, I decided to call him and see if we were still on for Sat or not. He said that maybe I should hang with my friend because he was going to be promoting his product in the evening. And its like, how can I get on his case for that? Whatever. I was suppose to call him tonight to discuss further, but there is nothing to discuss. I asked if we were hanging out tomorrow, he said to go with plan B instead, so there you go, nothing left to discuss.
If we're only meant to have a physical relationship, then fine. I will call him only when I am horny and need a warm body. I have had such a draining week that the last thing on my mind is sex at the moment. I will hold off on calling him and see if he decides to call me. blegh. So lame.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
So Relaxed....
Its almost 1 am and my little Poet just left. He came over again. This time there was no living room foreplay.....we just went straight to my room. And this time he made sure I had my fun first before he had his. Very nice. Once we were done, 1/2 of me wanted him to leave and 1/2 of me wanted him to stay. Sitting here alone in my bed, super comfortable and relaxed in my sleep shirt....I'm glad he left! haha.....
I am dreading work tomorrow. I have my helpers review. It is from 5-6pm. I think I may need a drink afterwards. I will put out feelers for my girlfriends....maybe they may want to have a drink with me....or possibly some Pho.....mmm, that sounds good.
Oh...on a side note, I have signed up for 10 weeks of Zumba. Totally looking forward to them, but I think I need to purchase a Zumba CD so that I can learn the steps because I hate being the awkward one in the back that can't follow! I mean come on, even the white girls can move their hips way better than I can!!
I am dreading work tomorrow. I have my helpers review. It is from 5-6pm. I think I may need a drink afterwards. I will put out feelers for my girlfriends....maybe they may want to have a drink with me....or possibly some Pho.....mmm, that sounds good.
Oh...on a side note, I have signed up for 10 weeks of Zumba. Totally looking forward to them, but I think I need to purchase a Zumba CD so that I can learn the steps because I hate being the awkward one in the back that can't follow! I mean come on, even the white girls can move their hips way better than I can!!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Ahhh...The Poet
Haha....don't have to tell me twice! So right now I am typing this entry in an orgasmic stupor.
The Poet left about 10 minutes ago. I just officially had my first booty call in the comfort of my own beb and I liked it! Like my mom says, as long as its not a bunch of random guys, having 1 consistent guy can be good thing. I think tomorrow I will have an extra swing to my hips during Zumba!!
So Poet was asking if he could come and "cuddle" with me on Wednesday....so I texted him back and said, "How about tonight?" To which of course he didn't text back but called to confirm he would be at my house in 30 minutes or less! Awesome, cause it gave me time to take a quick shower, shave my legs, and freshen up for him. I decided to go natural....and I welcomed him with a clean face and hair in a pony tail. He came over and brought drinks with him, which was nice. He insisted on going to the living room and watch TV...and I was like...umm, ok. Haha....I personally just wanted to take him to my room and jump on him.
Needless to say, the TV watching in the living room didn't last long. We went to my room, one thing led to another...and boom...he came! ugh. I was no where near being done. WTF??!!! So I let him rest up for a about 30 minutes and then pretty much jumped on him. This time he was able to last long enough for me to do my thing. Overall, it was good.....but I wish he had not come so soon the first time. I think he was overly excited about the whole thing.
So now we will see if I hear back from him, or if he is dunzo now that he got what he had been aching to get for over a month. Personally, I am very proud of myself for holding out so long, but honestly, I am not interested in anything long term with him, so there was no point in holding out longer.
Now I shall retire to bed and sleep like a baby....zzzzzzz
Wow, I am so nice and mellow right now. Hopefully The Poet still wants to keep his Wednesday appointment with me! hahaha.
The Poet left about 10 minutes ago. I just officially had my first booty call in the comfort of my own beb and I liked it! Like my mom says, as long as its not a bunch of random guys, having 1 consistent guy can be good thing. I think tomorrow I will have an extra swing to my hips during Zumba!!
So Poet was asking if he could come and "cuddle" with me on Wednesday....so I texted him back and said, "How about tonight?" To which of course he didn't text back but called to confirm he would be at my house in 30 minutes or less! Awesome, cause it gave me time to take a quick shower, shave my legs, and freshen up for him. I decided to go natural....and I welcomed him with a clean face and hair in a pony tail. He came over and brought drinks with him, which was nice. He insisted on going to the living room and watch TV...and I was like...umm, ok. Haha....I personally just wanted to take him to my room and jump on him.
Needless to say, the TV watching in the living room didn't last long. We went to my room, one thing led to another...and boom...he came! ugh. I was no where near being done. WTF??!!! So I let him rest up for a about 30 minutes and then pretty much jumped on him. This time he was able to last long enough for me to do my thing. Overall, it was good.....but I wish he had not come so soon the first time. I think he was overly excited about the whole thing.
So now we will see if I hear back from him, or if he is dunzo now that he got what he had been aching to get for over a month. Personally, I am very proud of myself for holding out so long, but honestly, I am not interested in anything long term with him, so there was no point in holding out longer.
Now I shall retire to bed and sleep like a baby....zzzzzzz
Wow, I am so nice and mellow right now. Hopefully The Poet still wants to keep his Wednesday appointment with me! hahaha.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Awkward but Helpful Conversation with my Mom
This evening I went to dinner with my mom to my favorite falafel place. And I have been telling her about The Poet and giving her little updates here and there. I then give her to latest and greatest about him wanting to come over and spend the night....to which she says, "why didn't you have him come over?". I was like..."huh???"
So basically my mom tells me that it upsets her that I don't enjoy my body more, i.e. I should be having sex. huh?????? She tells me that if I don't see a future with this guy, but if I like him, then I should use him for "pleasure". And then she proceeded to telling me that after having sex you feel really good and in a better mood. WTF!!!
Did my mom just try to tell me that I am a raging bitch and that I need to get to laid ASAP?!?!?!? hahaha....omg. I almost choked on my falafel.
So basically I have been given the green light from my mom to engage in a "friends with benefits" escapade with The Poet. I honestly am warming up to the idea. Because I do like the Poet, I just don't like talking to him because he drives me crazy with all his LAME ass ideas. I like making out with him, I enjoy being physical with him, and we have great chemistry.
I just think its hilarious that my mom came out with all of this. And honestly, I think that is what has been holding me back from having sex with the Poet. I didn't want my mom to think I was some skank for bring some dude she doesn't even know to my house just to have sex.
Hmmm, looks like things will be looking up for the Poet soon. Maybe he can come over tomorrow night.
So basically my mom tells me that it upsets her that I don't enjoy my body more, i.e. I should be having sex. huh?????? She tells me that if I don't see a future with this guy, but if I like him, then I should use him for "pleasure". And then she proceeded to telling me that after having sex you feel really good and in a better mood. WTF!!!
Did my mom just try to tell me that I am a raging bitch and that I need to get to laid ASAP?!?!?!? hahaha....omg. I almost choked on my falafel.
So basically I have been given the green light from my mom to engage in a "friends with benefits" escapade with The Poet. I honestly am warming up to the idea. Because I do like the Poet, I just don't like talking to him because he drives me crazy with all his LAME ass ideas. I like making out with him, I enjoy being physical with him, and we have great chemistry.
I just think its hilarious that my mom came out with all of this. And honestly, I think that is what has been holding me back from having sex with the Poet. I didn't want my mom to think I was some skank for bring some dude she doesn't even know to my house just to have sex.
Hmmm, looks like things will be looking up for the Poet soon. Maybe he can come over tomorrow night.
Oh The Poet....
This weekend has been kinda silly. I actually did nothing eventful. I hung out at home and just relaxed, which was all very much needed. So on Saturday I was throwing the idea of calling The Poet and maybe hang out with him...why not? I had nothing better to do. So he actually had texted me earlier in the day asking to see what was going on with me and blah blah blah and to call him when I had a chance. So I called him around 7ish. He asked if he could call me in 20 mins....I was like sure...but in my head, I was like...wtf?? So he called me, I missed his call, and then I called him a little later. He tells me about his friends b-day party, details are all shady, and then says he would have wanted me to go, and I was like, yeah, if you had asked I would have. So basically this is what I think. He did think about asking me to go with him, but then kept throwing the idea back and forth in his head on whether it would be a good idea or not, and then while he was actually in route to his friends party, he changed his mind and really did want me to go...but...its in freakin Hacienda Heights....which is like 45 mins away from where I live.
So he is suggesting that I drive out there to his friends house and I can hang out with him at this party. I like that he tried enticing me to go by stating that there would be free food and drinks, and that then we could spend the night there. LOL....uh huh. Needless to say that I was not about to drive there alone to who knows where to meet him. And really, if he REALLY wanted me to go, he would have told me about it earlier and we would have gone together.
So I tell him, "no thanks". He asked what I was going to do. I said I was just going to stay home and hang out. Some how I knew this was not the last time I would be hearing from him this night. So I ended up falling asleep early and woke up around 3 am to brush my teeth. I had 2 URGENT messages from him. Both messages were him asking if he could come over and spend the night with me....especially since he didn't have a bed that night. I will need to blog one day about my Poet's lack of bed. He called me around 12am and it was now 3am. He was probably already sleeping.
And I thought, he is SOO incredibly dumb, because he would have totally gotten some that evening had he played his cards right. But honestly, the guy has no game. He could have
1. asked me to go to his friend's party with him. We would have for sure come back to my place, and he would have gotten some.
2. been really bumbed that he didn't think to ask me sooner to go with him to his friend's party and then said, "I am going to go to my friend's party for a few hours, and then we should hang out?". I would have totally said Yes...especially since I had already shaved me legs. But he is just too lame to think ahead I guess.
*sigh* what a dork.
So he is suggesting that I drive out there to his friends house and I can hang out with him at this party. I like that he tried enticing me to go by stating that there would be free food and drinks, and that then we could spend the night there. LOL....uh huh. Needless to say that I was not about to drive there alone to who knows where to meet him. And really, if he REALLY wanted me to go, he would have told me about it earlier and we would have gone together.
So I tell him, "no thanks". He asked what I was going to do. I said I was just going to stay home and hang out. Some how I knew this was not the last time I would be hearing from him this night. So I ended up falling asleep early and woke up around 3 am to brush my teeth. I had 2 URGENT messages from him. Both messages were him asking if he could come over and spend the night with me....especially since he didn't have a bed that night. I will need to blog one day about my Poet's lack of bed. He called me around 12am and it was now 3am. He was probably already sleeping.
And I thought, he is SOO incredibly dumb, because he would have totally gotten some that evening had he played his cards right. But honestly, the guy has no game. He could have
1. asked me to go to his friend's party with him. We would have for sure come back to my place, and he would have gotten some.
2. been really bumbed that he didn't think to ask me sooner to go with him to his friend's party and then said, "I am going to go to my friend's party for a few hours, and then we should hang out?". I would have totally said Yes...especially since I had already shaved me legs. But he is just too lame to think ahead I guess.
*sigh* what a dork.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
So Annoyed
Ugh....today I am so annoyed because:
1. My brother is such a fucken slacker....and I strongly dislike him today.....strongly! I asked him to mount wooden blinds in the living 3 DAYS AGO!!! His excuse, "Oh, I just didn't have time". What-The-FUCK. He is home ALL day doing absolutely nothing...ALL DAY....EVERY DAY. omg, I need to not write about it because I am getting all worked up again.
2. My staff still blows. Since I am not on her ass about her work, she is going at ZERO miles an hour and is not doing shit. I don't want to upset at work, so I have been ignoring her, but I am going to put an end to it tomorrow, and I will demand she finish what she has been working on since MONDAY!!!! WTF! I think my staff and my brother are the same person!
3. The Poet responded to my "meet the family" text. He said (and I will quote...because its funny and I think he is giving me some of his poetic side), "your sweetness and oh so good wetness. that warm place of yours, thats what I want to meet".
HAHAHA....wow, he really is a Poet!
Ok, that put me in a more chipper mood. Thats what my little Poet is good for.....making me feel better. But, as old fashion as it seems, the fact I have not allowed him into my "warm place" is the reason why he such an eager little beaver....even if all he does wants is access to my beaver!
1. My brother is such a fucken slacker....and I strongly dislike him today.....strongly! I asked him to mount wooden blinds in the living 3 DAYS AGO!!! His excuse, "Oh, I just didn't have time". What-The-FUCK. He is home ALL day doing absolutely nothing...ALL DAY....EVERY DAY. omg, I need to not write about it because I am getting all worked up again.
2. My staff still blows. Since I am not on her ass about her work, she is going at ZERO miles an hour and is not doing shit. I don't want to upset at work, so I have been ignoring her, but I am going to put an end to it tomorrow, and I will demand she finish what she has been working on since MONDAY!!!! WTF! I think my staff and my brother are the same person!
3. The Poet responded to my "meet the family" text. He said (and I will quote...because its funny and I think he is giving me some of his poetic side), "your sweetness and oh so good wetness. that warm place of yours, thats what I want to meet".
HAHAHA....wow, he really is a Poet!
Ok, that put me in a more chipper mood. Thats what my little Poet is good for.....making me feel better. But, as old fashion as it seems, the fact I have not allowed him into my "warm place" is the reason why he such an eager little beaver....even if all he does wants is access to my beaver!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Current Boy Toy Update
I need a nickname for my current boy toy. Oh....The Poet. So the Poet kinda blew me off last night when I called him. I was a little upset about it because I thought, what a fucker, so now since I gave him a blow job, he is dunzo and doesn't give a shit about me anymore. But of course, I was being typical, and totally Chicking out. He texted me today apologizing for cutting the phone call abruptly. I let him know it kinda hurt my feelings, but that I forgive him.
So now he is asking when we are going to have a "movie night" at my places...aka, when can I come over so we can finally have Sex!!!
I texted him back and said the following: "Yea....you're ready to meet my family? haha...."
LOL....if anything is a boner kill, I think that would be it. But honestly, even if I don't want him for anything long term, I am still not ok with him coming over to my house just to have sex. I mean, come on. It would feel awkward to me for him to do another late night visit like he did on Sunday. I was able to justify the late night visit with the fact he was driving back to town from Mammoth....but I can not justify a late night visit in hopes of just coming over to my house to have sex with me. And I certainly do not plan on having someone over to my house for a movie night and not introduce the person to my mom and brother. How lame is that?
So, if he really wants to enjoy my body, the man is going to meet my family! Haha....I am curious to see how this all will turn out. I think its all pretty funny.
More to come....I am sure of this!
So now he is asking when we are going to have a "movie night" at my places...aka, when can I come over so we can finally have Sex!!!
I texted him back and said the following: "Yea....you're ready to meet my family? haha...."
LOL....if anything is a boner kill, I think that would be it. But honestly, even if I don't want him for anything long term, I am still not ok with him coming over to my house just to have sex. I mean, come on. It would feel awkward to me for him to do another late night visit like he did on Sunday. I was able to justify the late night visit with the fact he was driving back to town from Mammoth....but I can not justify a late night visit in hopes of just coming over to my house to have sex with me. And I certainly do not plan on having someone over to my house for a movie night and not introduce the person to my mom and brother. How lame is that?
So, if he really wants to enjoy my body, the man is going to meet my family! Haha....I am curious to see how this all will turn out. I think its all pretty funny.
More to come....I am sure of this!
Zumba!!
Wow, I feel so great and energized. I went to a Zumba class tonight and it was so much fun. I was dancing, listening to good music, and hanging out with my good friends. If workouts were like this all the time, I think I would work out more often. Maybe I need to start going to the gym more regularly and take the classes and become friendly with the other classmates. haha, what a concept!
Hopefully I don't get a leg cramp tonight while sleeping! OMG, I am so old. blegh.
Hopefully I don't get a leg cramp tonight while sleeping! OMG, I am so old. blegh.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Why do I care?
Today has been a shitty boy day. So the guy I dated last year and am now friends with on facebook proceeded to tell me about his new girlfriend moving in with him this weekend. What a dick. As a matter of fact, I am going to unfriend him now. I don't need to know whats new with him because I don't give a shit. Even though I should not care, I do care. And I don't necessarily care because I want him, I care because what the fuck, how come he found someone to call his girlfriend I am still looking for someone. Wtf???
I called my current boy toy tonight and he was kinda like blegh about talking to me. I do feel like we don't have much to talk about over the phone. I don't like just talking to him. I would rather just spend time with him so we can kiss and hug. Hmm, I think all this means is that I possibly don't have much in common with him. Tonight when I called him he started babbling something about taking a shower, taking shit out of his car, and then talking to his mom or brother cause he had not seen them for the past four days....translation to me, He didn't want to talk to me. So I said, "ok, have a good night" and I just hung up.....he was still talking.
As much as I want to have sex with him, I am not going to call him anymore. He can call me next time cause I totally felt rejected by him not wanting to talk to me. I don't get him.
Oh, and I am being such a shallow biotch. Some guy from HS wants to have dinner with me and I accepted his invitation before he sent me his current picture. OMG....I really don't want to meet him. I am just not attracted to him. I don't really want a guy friend. I want someone I am interested. So its kinda pointless for me to see him. I am going to try and figure out how I can get out of meeting him. ugh, what a pain.
I called my current boy toy tonight and he was kinda like blegh about talking to me. I do feel like we don't have much to talk about over the phone. I don't like just talking to him. I would rather just spend time with him so we can kiss and hug. Hmm, I think all this means is that I possibly don't have much in common with him. Tonight when I called him he started babbling something about taking a shower, taking shit out of his car, and then talking to his mom or brother cause he had not seen them for the past four days....translation to me, He didn't want to talk to me. So I said, "ok, have a good night" and I just hung up.....he was still talking.
As much as I want to have sex with him, I am not going to call him anymore. He can call me next time cause I totally felt rejected by him not wanting to talk to me. I don't get him.
Oh, and I am being such a shallow biotch. Some guy from HS wants to have dinner with me and I accepted his invitation before he sent me his current picture. OMG....I really don't want to meet him. I am just not attracted to him. I don't really want a guy friend. I want someone I am interested. So its kinda pointless for me to see him. I am going to try and figure out how I can get out of meeting him. ugh, what a pain.
Ending to the weekend (Sunday)
ugh....so annoyed. My current boy toy came over tonight and I am on my effn period!! ugh!! He of course said he didn't mind, but I have not had sex with him yet and I told him I didn't want our first time to be on my period. wtf???
So I ended up giving him a blow job. And wow, he has a very nice sized cock. I am looking forward to when I can have all of it. Whats funny is that he is the first guy that I wanted to stay longer. Usually I can not wait to leave or I can not wait for them to leave. But with the current boy toy, I wanted him to stay. And it bothers me that I wanted him to stay. Does that mean that I like him? Well, I am not going to call him. I am going to wait for him to call me.
On a side note, I am kinda reconnecting with this one guy I dated last year. I found him on Facebook and I finally decided to just send him a friend request on facebook. I am not sure if he is going to be into me since he was the one who kinda broke things off with me because I was kinda mean to him. He treated me nicely and I do like him. So for sure I would not mind going out with him again. But I will let him ask, I am not going to suggest it. Who knows, he may not want anything to do with me romantically. And at least he can buy me dinner!! Unlike my poor little boy toy.
I am going to weigh myself tomorrow. I am probably going to be heavier due to the water retention from my period....I know...excuses excuses excuses!!
So I ended up giving him a blow job. And wow, he has a very nice sized cock. I am looking forward to when I can have all of it. Whats funny is that he is the first guy that I wanted to stay longer. Usually I can not wait to leave or I can not wait for them to leave. But with the current boy toy, I wanted him to stay. And it bothers me that I wanted him to stay. Does that mean that I like him? Well, I am not going to call him. I am going to wait for him to call me.
On a side note, I am kinda reconnecting with this one guy I dated last year. I found him on Facebook and I finally decided to just send him a friend request on facebook. I am not sure if he is going to be into me since he was the one who kinda broke things off with me because I was kinda mean to him. He treated me nicely and I do like him. So for sure I would not mind going out with him again. But I will let him ask, I am not going to suggest it. Who knows, he may not want anything to do with me romantically. And at least he can buy me dinner!! Unlike my poor little boy toy.
I am going to weigh myself tomorrow. I am probably going to be heavier due to the water retention from my period....I know...excuses excuses excuses!!
Sucky Monday (last week)
Why Monday sucked:
1. The lame painter never showed up to finish painting.
2. My lame staff showed up to work today after being out sick for 2 days, and I was so busy, I didn't have time to stay on top of her, so I have no clue what the heck she worked on.
3. I think I upset my current boy toy when I told him last night "maybe" regarding the possibility of me going over to his place for a "slumber party".
4. I think I just ate too much at dinner.
Why I need to stop complaining:
1. I now have more time to make sure that I 100% LOVE the colour I pick for the living/dining room.
2. I emailed my lame staff asking where the hell 6 months worth of BS reviews were, and made sure to copy my boss on it.
3. I am not that into my current boy toy anyways. And plus, I would hate to have any type of accident with him.
4. I passed up on a free Chiptole tonight and did not have a 1,000 + calorie dinner. Yay me.
1. The lame painter never showed up to finish painting.
2. My lame staff showed up to work today after being out sick for 2 days, and I was so busy, I didn't have time to stay on top of her, so I have no clue what the heck she worked on.
3. I think I upset my current boy toy when I told him last night "maybe" regarding the possibility of me going over to his place for a "slumber party".
4. I think I just ate too much at dinner.
Why I need to stop complaining:
1. I now have more time to make sure that I 100% LOVE the colour I pick for the living/dining room.
2. I emailed my lame staff asking where the hell 6 months worth of BS reviews were, and made sure to copy my boss on it.
3. I am not that into my current boy toy anyways. And plus, I would hate to have any type of accident with him.
4. I passed up on a free Chiptole tonight and did not have a 1,000 + calorie dinner. Yay me.
Costly Changes (sometime last week)
Ugh, what a terrible day. My mom has been sick all day, I made a costly bad decision, and now I can't decide on lame wall coloring. I am so annoyed with myself because I should have taken my time trying to decide the perfect wall color for the living/dining room, and instead of hasty made a decision and it completely back fired on me. And now its going to cost me double than the orginal estimate. In total my money pit of a little house has cost me about $3K this month alone. I am so sick of all the crap breaking down and then having to pay someone to fix it. But you know what, life is too short, I am not going to let it stress me out anymore. Que cera, cera....or something like that. And then my current boy toy wanted to see me tonight and I said no. Honestly I am not feeling sexy, I've eaten like a pig, and my boy toy had a night of bliss on his blow-up bed ready for me. Literally, he wanted me to come over so we can finally have sex. But with everything that has been going on today, sex is the last thing on my mind. He asked if tomorrow then? And he seemed upset when I said "maybe". And its like, wtf??? So yesterday he told me he was flat broke and couldn't pay for drinks, but then today he told me about going to freakin 7-11 for collectible Transformer cups....HAHA...omg...he's right, he is broke. How can I compare freakin collectible Transformer cups from 7-11 to drinks somewhere. Poor guy. I kinda feel sorry for him, and I feel like he annoys me when I talk to him over the phone, but then when I am around him, I can not keep my hands off of him...and I like how he makes me feel. Last night he told me that he thinks I probably taste like strawberries down there...hahaha....how can you not like a guy that says that to you?? Such a charmer he is! LOL. ok, whatever, I am done stressing over the paint drying. Whatever...once its done, it will be done. Hopefully everything will be finalized and over with by this weekend!
The Red Light Killed It (story from a few Saturdays ago)
So tonight a red light changed the course of my entire evening. I went out with my current boy toy....and this one is really a boy toy cause he is flat broke. So much so, that tonight I straight out asked if I could spot him the entire evening because he had ZERO money. I was like, WTF? But I agreed to it cause he's cute and makes me feel good. So I asked him to meet me at Chilli's and he was already there (selling his smoking device to the waitress), and he looked cute. I was like...aww, he is actually very handsome. So he sees me, I see him talking to the waitress, and I just head straight to a table at the bar. He is quickly at my side greeting me with a hug and a kiss. He always looks nice for me, he smells good, and he thinks I am hot...what is there not to like? Oh yeah, he's broke. So we finish our drinks and appetizers, and then decide to go for a little make-out session which got really hot and heavy fast....so I give in and say fine...lets go back to my place. I know for a fact once we're at my house and in my room we're going to have sex. So I tell him, you better hurry up...and he says OK! But as we're driving, I drove through a light and he didn't run it through after me. So I am about to make to left turn towards my house and I see that he is no where in sight...I continue making my way towards my house, and finally once I am like 1 block away from my house he calls me to ask where my house is, at which point I have already talked myself out of the entire thing. So I tell him I changed my mind and maybe we can leave it for some other time. To which he says fine too, but its not like he had any other choice. Oh well. After I received my guaranteed pleasure from my pink boyfriend, I put him away, and felt nice and mellow. Zero regret and absolutely no consequences.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
I always knew it....free is my favorite flavor.
Wow, so much has happened since the last time I blogged. I am no longer upset about eHarmony. I still think they are a piece of crap website, and I am over it. So instead I bumped into a "Free for girls" dating website. Its not really free for girls. I just say it is. This new website is awesome. Paying "Featured Members" can send and receive emails from the non-paying members i.e. Me! I decided what the heck, I will go and create a profile, and load some pics of myself up, and see what happens and if someone wants to talk to me....like the dude from the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" said...., "If a guy really wants to talk to you, he will find a way to do so". So if someone from this website wants to talk to me, he will have to pay to do so.
Total cost of this new website = ZERO. Amount of effort = about 10 minutes of my time.
eHarmony Total cost = $175 for 6 months of nothing. Amount of effort = like 3 hours for the initial questionnaire and about 100 hours later for nothing.
So back to this awesome blossom new website. I created a profile and sat pretty and waited. The very next day I was overwhelmed with the amount of response I received. I had so many flirts and emails from paying members, I almost thought someone/something was playing a trick on me. I emailed back a few of the suitors and they are all actual men! WOW...I love it.
And tonight, for the first time in a LONG time, I received an email from a guy whom I was like...OMG....this is who I want. He is 38, 6 feet, white, he's a teacher, and he so cute. OMG....I so want him. I emailed him back tonight, so we will see what happens with him. I also emailed this other dude who has the prettiest blue eyes. I am done giving a chance to men who I think would be a good match for me...instead I am going to go back to dating men who I want. I am just going to have restrain when I meet them. As old fashion as it may seem...making a guy wait, is the way to go. I think its important to always leave them wanting more and looking forward to things intead of letting them open all the presents before Christmas!
On a side note. I had myself some 24 year old lovin this weekend! Haha....I know. Lots of restrain. So I can say I have officially had my first one night stand. Before last night, I never understood how guys could just have sex with someone and be done with it. Now I get it. My little guy, he was so so cute. Law student, nice boy and a total cutie pie....but once we were done, he wanted to hang out and cuddle, and I was like....Ok, get me out of here. He walked me to my car, I gave him a half assed hug good bye (you know the type where you only hug with one arm). He then said, "It was nice meeting you"...and I thought..."you too Jr.". And that was that. Cute boy, I had a good time, got my release and now I will be more pleasant to be around in the upcoming week! Oh, and on a side embarrassing note, I had ZERO intentions of being naked with someone else last night....so I was not prepared i.e. legs were not shaved and my friend down stairs was not primped. Haha...oh well. I don't remember Jr. having any complaints.
Here is to beginning March with a Bang....literally. Cheers! Hahaha....
Total cost of this new website = ZERO. Amount of effort = about 10 minutes of my time.
eHarmony Total cost = $175 for 6 months of nothing. Amount of effort = like 3 hours for the initial questionnaire and about 100 hours later for nothing.
So back to this awesome blossom new website. I created a profile and sat pretty and waited. The very next day I was overwhelmed with the amount of response I received. I had so many flirts and emails from paying members, I almost thought someone/something was playing a trick on me. I emailed back a few of the suitors and they are all actual men! WOW...I love it.
And tonight, for the first time in a LONG time, I received an email from a guy whom I was like...OMG....this is who I want. He is 38, 6 feet, white, he's a teacher, and he so cute. OMG....I so want him. I emailed him back tonight, so we will see what happens with him. I also emailed this other dude who has the prettiest blue eyes. I am done giving a chance to men who I think would be a good match for me...instead I am going to go back to dating men who I want. I am just going to have restrain when I meet them. As old fashion as it may seem...making a guy wait, is the way to go. I think its important to always leave them wanting more and looking forward to things intead of letting them open all the presents before Christmas!
On a side note. I had myself some 24 year old lovin this weekend! Haha....I know. Lots of restrain. So I can say I have officially had my first one night stand. Before last night, I never understood how guys could just have sex with someone and be done with it. Now I get it. My little guy, he was so so cute. Law student, nice boy and a total cutie pie....but once we were done, he wanted to hang out and cuddle, and I was like....Ok, get me out of here. He walked me to my car, I gave him a half assed hug good bye (you know the type where you only hug with one arm). He then said, "It was nice meeting you"...and I thought..."you too Jr.". And that was that. Cute boy, I had a good time, got my release and now I will be more pleasant to be around in the upcoming week! Oh, and on a side embarrassing note, I had ZERO intentions of being naked with someone else last night....so I was not prepared i.e. legs were not shaved and my friend down stairs was not primped. Haha...oh well. I don't remember Jr. having any complaints.
Here is to beginning March with a Bang....literally. Cheers! Hahaha....
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Translation To The Below
eHarmony thinks that obviously people in Southern California do not like me, so I should expand my dating pool nationwide....or even better, to increase my chances of finding a significant other....I should try other countries.
eHarmony F U.
hahaha...seriously...earlier I was really upset. But honestly...come on now. WTF. hahaha!
I just wrote eHarmony an email requesting some type of pro-rated refund/credit for the months remaining of my membership. Lets see what "Customer Service" responds. Its worth a try. And if I do get anything back, it'll definitely make me feel better. hahaha!!
eHarmony F U.
hahaha...seriously...earlier I was really upset. But honestly...come on now. WTF. hahaha!
I just wrote eHarmony an email requesting some type of pro-rated refund/credit for the months remaining of my membership. Lets see what "Customer Service" responds. Its worth a try. And if I do get anything back, it'll definitely make me feel better. hahaha!!
I Am Dunzo
Hi. I have had time to reflect and I am so Dunzo with eHarmony. This website has caused me more harm than good. It has not helped me at all. It is not good for me. I need to break away.
The topper was them responding to the following inquiry:
"Customer (Lupita) Can I only be "matched" with active members? I have been on the service for a while and I am not getting any communication requests from members. This service (eHarmony) is very frustrating as I seem to be matched with non-paying members who are not able to communicate. Or eHarmony is selecting members that have absolutely no interest in me. Please advice."
The following is their response:
Dear Lupita,
Thank you for contacting eHarmony Customer Care. We can understand your frustration regarding your matches and I'll be more than happy to assist you. Everyone who joins eHarmony and who successfully completes the Relationship Questionnaire is matched at first, as a non-subscriber. We give all of our members the opportunity to experience eHarmony’s powerful matching process based on the 29 Dimensions of Compatibility before subscribing. Once a non-subscriber is ready to start communicating with a match they are required to join the service as a paid member. At eHarmony, we like to create a virtual comfort zone and let our members take communication at their own pace. Many non-subscribers quickly transition to full-fledged members, and our research shows statistically, there is practically no difference between members and non-subscribers in their willingness to communicate. All members who join eHarmony come here for the one solid purpose of finding that special someone and we want to give everyone the best chance in finding that success.”
Lupita, I understand how it can be a challenge when matches do not respond to communication in a timely manner. However, I'd like to assure you that communication is a process that takes time and we recommend allowing matches 1-2 weeks to communicate. I encourage you to keep in mind that the length of time someone waits to respond is not always a reflection of their interest and we want to be sensitive to their unique situations. People go on vacation, travel for business, work long hours or just check personal e-mail sporadically. We ask our members to try to be as patient as possible. There is one aspect of your account that can certainly make a difference in the amount of communication you receive, your About Me section of your account. While taking a look at your account, I noticed that your About Me page is sparse. This is the very first impression of you that your matches will receive. Our average of 236 eHarmony members getting married every day have told us that they did not communicate with matches who did not have a complete About Me page. We want you to take the time to fill in thoughtful, detailed answers in this section, like you would if you were actually speaking to a new friend.
Also, a fantastic way to let your matches know that you are interested in receiving a response from them is to Nudge them. Nudge is a feature on eHarmony that allows you to send a gentle reminder to matches that have not responded to your most recent communication. The Nudge feature is available after 7 days have passed without a response from your match. You can send a Nudge at any point in the communication process except Open Communication, where you can send your own e-mail reminder. To Nudge a match, go to the Match Details page for the match who hasn’t responded to your communication. If 7 days have passed since your recent request for communication, the Nudge feature will appear in the yellow box under your match’s photo. Click the Nudge button. An e-mail will then be sent to your match reminding them that you are still interested in continuing Guided Communication. A Nudge message will also appear next to your name on their My Matches page. You can only Nudge a match once. Please try to give the match as much time to respond as possible before you put communication on hold or close the match entirely. To find out the date that you had last sent your Nudge, you can always return to their Match Details page, where the date and time of your Nudge will be displayed near the top. However, I'd like to share a suggestion that may open your matching pool further. I have reviewed your account and noticed that you have set to receive matches within 30 miles. We do, of course, recommend expanding your distance settings as wide as possible, which can truly help open up your matching pool. We have seen huge success for many of our members that have gone outside of their comfort zone, especially as far as distance is concerned, and ended up meeting the love of their life. According to Harris Interactive research, on average, 236 eHarmony members marry every day in the United States as a result of being matched on eHarmony. To modify your distance settings, please follow the steps below: 1. Log into your eHarmony account2. Click the My Settings tab at the top of the page3. Click the Match Settings subheading link4. Scroll down the page to the question, “How far are you willing to search to find your matches?” Once here, you will have the option to search by:- Radius (from “Up to 30 miles away” to “Up to 300 miles away”)- State (U.S.) or Province (Canada)- Your entire country- Specific countries around the world- Anywhere in the world Once you have made your selection, please make sure to click on the “save and continue” button in order to process your request. I’d like to recommend taking a look at a new online video Dr. Warren’s “5 Keys to Success” www.eHarmony.com/keystosuccess to give you the best idea of what to expect from the process. We look forward to helping you find the love of your life.
Sincerely,
U. R. Fucked
Customer Care,
eHarmony.
The topper was them responding to the following inquiry:
"Customer (Lupita) Can I only be "matched" with active members? I have been on the service for a while and I am not getting any communication requests from members. This service (eHarmony) is very frustrating as I seem to be matched with non-paying members who are not able to communicate. Or eHarmony is selecting members that have absolutely no interest in me. Please advice."
The following is their response:
Dear Lupita,
Thank you for contacting eHarmony Customer Care. We can understand your frustration regarding your matches and I'll be more than happy to assist you. Everyone who joins eHarmony and who successfully completes the Relationship Questionnaire is matched at first, as a non-subscriber. We give all of our members the opportunity to experience eHarmony’s powerful matching process based on the 29 Dimensions of Compatibility before subscribing. Once a non-subscriber is ready to start communicating with a match they are required to join the service as a paid member. At eHarmony, we like to create a virtual comfort zone and let our members take communication at their own pace. Many non-subscribers quickly transition to full-fledged members, and our research shows statistically, there is practically no difference between members and non-subscribers in their willingness to communicate. All members who join eHarmony come here for the one solid purpose of finding that special someone and we want to give everyone the best chance in finding that success.”
Lupita, I understand how it can be a challenge when matches do not respond to communication in a timely manner. However, I'd like to assure you that communication is a process that takes time and we recommend allowing matches 1-2 weeks to communicate. I encourage you to keep in mind that the length of time someone waits to respond is not always a reflection of their interest and we want to be sensitive to their unique situations. People go on vacation, travel for business, work long hours or just check personal e-mail sporadically. We ask our members to try to be as patient as possible. There is one aspect of your account that can certainly make a difference in the amount of communication you receive, your About Me section of your account. While taking a look at your account, I noticed that your About Me page is sparse. This is the very first impression of you that your matches will receive. Our average of 236 eHarmony members getting married every day have told us that they did not communicate with matches who did not have a complete About Me page. We want you to take the time to fill in thoughtful, detailed answers in this section, like you would if you were actually speaking to a new friend.
Also, a fantastic way to let your matches know that you are interested in receiving a response from them is to Nudge them. Nudge is a feature on eHarmony that allows you to send a gentle reminder to matches that have not responded to your most recent communication. The Nudge feature is available after 7 days have passed without a response from your match. You can send a Nudge at any point in the communication process except Open Communication, where you can send your own e-mail reminder. To Nudge a match, go to the Match Details page for the match who hasn’t responded to your communication. If 7 days have passed since your recent request for communication, the Nudge feature will appear in the yellow box under your match’s photo. Click the Nudge button. An e-mail will then be sent to your match reminding them that you are still interested in continuing Guided Communication. A Nudge message will also appear next to your name on their My Matches page. You can only Nudge a match once. Please try to give the match as much time to respond as possible before you put communication on hold or close the match entirely. To find out the date that you had last sent your Nudge, you can always return to their Match Details page, where the date and time of your Nudge will be displayed near the top. However, I'd like to share a suggestion that may open your matching pool further. I have reviewed your account and noticed that you have set to receive matches within 30 miles. We do, of course, recommend expanding your distance settings as wide as possible, which can truly help open up your matching pool. We have seen huge success for many of our members that have gone outside of their comfort zone, especially as far as distance is concerned, and ended up meeting the love of their life. According to Harris Interactive research, on average, 236 eHarmony members marry every day in the United States as a result of being matched on eHarmony. To modify your distance settings, please follow the steps below: 1. Log into your eHarmony account2. Click the My Settings tab at the top of the page3. Click the Match Settings subheading link4. Scroll down the page to the question, “How far are you willing to search to find your matches?” Once here, you will have the option to search by:- Radius (from “Up to 30 miles away” to “Up to 300 miles away”)- State (U.S.) or Province (Canada)- Your entire country- Specific countries around the world- Anywhere in the world Once you have made your selection, please make sure to click on the “save and continue” button in order to process your request. I’d like to recommend taking a look at a new online video Dr. Warren’s “5 Keys to Success” www.eHarmony.com/keystosuccess to give you the best idea of what to expect from the process. We look forward to helping you find the love of your life.
Sincerely,
U. R. Fucked
Customer Care,
eHarmony.
OMG....Seriously???
Ok.....eHarmony is really fucking with my self-esteem. They are an awful awful service and I curse the day I ever joined. I hate this website with a Passion and I hate their BOT-Like non-existent members even more....I almost hate them enough to forgo the remainder of my membership and just send them an email letting them know that their organization and their members can BITE ME!!!!!!!
When I get home and I am a little more calm and collected I will continue my eHarmony RATH!!!!!! SOOOOOO ANGRY RIGHT NOW....FEEL MY BLOOD PRESSURE RISING.
deep breaths. to be continued......
When I get home and I am a little more calm and collected I will continue my eHarmony RATH!!!!!! SOOOOOO ANGRY RIGHT NOW....FEEL MY BLOOD PRESSURE RISING.
deep breaths. to be continued......
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Post VD (thats Valentine Day....not Venereal Disease)
I've never had a venereal disease, but I think it would be the same as Valentine Day.
I have learned to not appreciate Valentine's Day. I know its just another Hallmark holiday, suckering people into purchasing overpriced items like flowers, chocolates, special prix fix menus, and special gifts that come in small little boxes which remind your beloved how much you really do love them. Wah wah wah.....at least once in my adult life I want to enjoy all those LAME V-Day traditions. Ugh...ok, Bitter Betty Party of 1 !!!
So last night, instead of having an amazing v-day with a boy ending in fantastic romantic love making....i stayed home, cooked spaghetti and meatballs for my mum and me, and capped off the night with a late show of The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons. While sitting waiting for the movie to begin, up in the nose bleed seats (when you go with someone older to the movies, you either sit way up front or you sit up all the way in the back). I am with my Oldie, so we're sitting 2nd row from the last way at the top. As we're sitting there, slowly up the stairs come a couple hand in hand. The guy is like late 60ish....the woman is like early 40ish....my Oldie leans over to me and says, "Well, we know why she's with him". OMG, NO SHE DIDN'T!!!! I thought it was pretty crazy that my mother would actually say something like that. I think maybe my mom was jealous. I think she secretly wants an old man to take care of her. I openly want an old man to take care of her!!! Too bad my older gentleman friend was not interested in meeting my mom because they would have actually made a good couple.
So that was my Valentine 2009!
Oh...I didn't know why, but I had the feeling McLovin would have something to say in response to my last email to him. Well, I was right, the following is what he wrote:
Hi Lupita,
Wish you all the best! It was still great to meet you the other week. You can close out our match.
Take care,
McLovin
I think this has been my best online break-up of all time.
I have learned to not appreciate Valentine's Day. I know its just another Hallmark holiday, suckering people into purchasing overpriced items like flowers, chocolates, special prix fix menus, and special gifts that come in small little boxes which remind your beloved how much you really do love them. Wah wah wah.....at least once in my adult life I want to enjoy all those LAME V-Day traditions. Ugh...ok, Bitter Betty Party of 1 !!!
So last night, instead of having an amazing v-day with a boy ending in fantastic romantic love making....i stayed home, cooked spaghetti and meatballs for my mum and me, and capped off the night with a late show of The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons. While sitting waiting for the movie to begin, up in the nose bleed seats (when you go with someone older to the movies, you either sit way up front or you sit up all the way in the back). I am with my Oldie, so we're sitting 2nd row from the last way at the top. As we're sitting there, slowly up the stairs come a couple hand in hand. The guy is like late 60ish....the woman is like early 40ish....my Oldie leans over to me and says, "Well, we know why she's with him". OMG, NO SHE DIDN'T!!!! I thought it was pretty crazy that my mother would actually say something like that. I think maybe my mom was jealous. I think she secretly wants an old man to take care of her. I openly want an old man to take care of her!!! Too bad my older gentleman friend was not interested in meeting my mom because they would have actually made a good couple.
So that was my Valentine 2009!
Oh...I didn't know why, but I had the feeling McLovin would have something to say in response to my last email to him. Well, I was right, the following is what he wrote:
Hi Lupita,
Wish you all the best! It was still great to meet you the other week. You can close out our match.
Take care,
McLovin
I think this has been my best online break-up of all time.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Yucky Messages.....
Today I accomplished a lot of things. I made decisions and took on scary challenges. So I have been totally playing chicken shit when it comes to my little Miata aka McLovin friend. Poor little McLovin called me today to "check in" and left me a nice message which any girl who had actual interest in a guy would be very happy to receive. But instead, I got it. Ugh...it made me cringe when I saw it was him calling me tonight around 9ish (yeah, I was STILL at work...I am a slave, I know it). I considered picking up the phone for like 3 seconds, and then I remembered that listening to him on the phone might actually make my ears bleed. So I let it go to voicemail. I did a terrible thing with the voicemail. I can't believe I am going to admit this.....so I played the message for my co-worker and we both giggled about it on the way to our cars. I know, I suck.
Tonight I decided to email McLovin. I couldn't bare to be a mature adult and call him on the phone to tell him. Instead, I wrote him an email via eHarmony. So now that I think about it, he's going to get a message letting him know he has an email from me, but instead of being a "Hey McLovin, how are you? I miss you!" email, its going to be the dreaded following:
Hi McLovin,
I received your voicemail tonight. It was very sweet of you to call. I have to be honest with you and myself. I think you're a great guy, but I just don't feel that romantic spark with you. I wish you luck in your pursuit in finding that special someone.
Best,
Lupita
Yup....short, sweet, to the point.
Next, I decided to also contact my older gentleman friend. I have access to older friend via IM, so I went on IM and of course, he was on. I waited for him to send me a message once he saw I was on, but he didn't. So I initiated a message. Asked how he was, blah blah blah. He was very unresponsive....but it also could have been cause it was past his bedtime....who knows. So he was very blah through it all, and I told him I was tired and to take care. I don't think he knows that I meant "take care" as in, I am deleting you, I am dunzo. Who knows. Anyways, I feel like I closed it out there too. And then I deleted him from my friend lists cause his picture pops-up and it kinda freaks me out. I still can't believe I considered it. What was I thinking????
On a lighter note, I started talking to my old friend from HS via facebook. Its really cool to get in contact with people from way back when. He's a really nice guy. We're making plans to meet before 03/10/09 (his deadline). I have no idea what is so special about this date....but that's what he told me tonight...that we have to make plans before this day. Who knows. I will keep you posted. Possible love interest? I don't know. I'll have to meet up with him....but wouldn't that be funny.
Tonight I decided to email McLovin. I couldn't bare to be a mature adult and call him on the phone to tell him. Instead, I wrote him an email via eHarmony. So now that I think about it, he's going to get a message letting him know he has an email from me, but instead of being a "Hey McLovin, how are you? I miss you!" email, its going to be the dreaded following:
Hi McLovin,
I received your voicemail tonight. It was very sweet of you to call. I have to be honest with you and myself. I think you're a great guy, but I just don't feel that romantic spark with you. I wish you luck in your pursuit in finding that special someone.
Best,
Lupita
Yup....short, sweet, to the point.
Next, I decided to also contact my older gentleman friend. I have access to older friend via IM, so I went on IM and of course, he was on. I waited for him to send me a message once he saw I was on, but he didn't. So I initiated a message. Asked how he was, blah blah blah. He was very unresponsive....but it also could have been cause it was past his bedtime....who knows. So he was very blah through it all, and I told him I was tired and to take care. I don't think he knows that I meant "take care" as in, I am deleting you, I am dunzo. Who knows. Anyways, I feel like I closed it out there too. And then I deleted him from my friend lists cause his picture pops-up and it kinda freaks me out. I still can't believe I considered it. What was I thinking????
On a lighter note, I started talking to my old friend from HS via facebook. Its really cool to get in contact with people from way back when. He's a really nice guy. We're making plans to meet before 03/10/09 (his deadline). I have no idea what is so special about this date....but that's what he told me tonight...that we have to make plans before this day. Who knows. I will keep you posted. Possible love interest? I don't know. I'll have to meet up with him....but wouldn't that be funny.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I Am Just Not "That" Girl
I've been giving my older gentleman situation lots of thought and consideration over the past few days, and I have come to realize that the entire arrangement is just not me. I am not like The Real Housewives of OC. I am a girl from the valley. I work hard. I pay for my own things. I know how to have fun and live my life without the aide/weight of a man. I am just not that kind of girl. I can not go out with someone for only the novelty of it all. I need to be vested in trying to pursue something else with the person. And if I do go out with someone casually, it has to be someone that is not old enough to be my father. Its like the more I think about it, the more wrong it feels. As awesome as the following statement is about to sound, I can not settle for being someone's Trophy Girlfriend! I have not broken the news to my older gentleman friend. Yesterday was the first day we did not communicate since we've started talking to each other. I am going to take the chicken way out as long as possible. When he does call me to inquire why I have been MIA, I will have to be honest with him and tell him that the age difference really freaks me out. I am sure he will understand and move on to some LA Bimbo who will be more than willing to be his Trophy Girlfriend…..it just won't be me.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Older Men......
Last night I went to a meet and greet with my new older gentlemen friend. At first I thought we'd meet for dinner, but when he suggested we first meet at Starbucks and then go from there, I thought.....yeah, perfect. Perfect because if it all was too awkward and weird, then we could just meet for maybe 30 mins and then call it a night as oppose to a full meal which could entail a possible polite 2 hours. So I am in route to Starbucks and I walk in not really knowing what to expect....and there he was...my date, the silver fox. My date looked like a cross between Ted Danson and Al Paccino...I know....hard to explain. Too bad he didn't look like my old man crush Mr. Nicholson, cause then...who knows how the night would have ended!
So I get there and Silver Fox instantly recognizes me. He stands up to greet me and we hug. He smelled nice, was wearing a black sweater, black slacks, black everything. We had discussed where I worked and he wore a golf jacket with the name of the company where I work...haha, funny. Let me start off by saying that my first 2009 Starbucks meet and greet consisted of me buying myself my latte and my date just sitting there having a count down to when he could make out with me in the parking lot. (the date ended in me calling it a night, him walking me to my car, and then proceeding to beg for a good night kiss....not good!) My other Starbucks date consisted of my date buying my latte and looking annoyed for having to pay for it, and then didn't get up to get my drink once it was ready. Needless to say, that date didn't go well either.
In this Starbucks dates, the silver fox had selected a table against the wall. He was sitting on the cushion side and I sat on the chair. He asked if I would prefer to sit on the bench since it was more comfortable, which I gladly accepted. He then asked what I would like to drink. I told him my drink of choice and he got up and returned with a drink in hand. (side note....so I've been to this Starbucks many times before and the last time I was there alone, there was this guy there who was totally flirting me up. Well, he was there again last night! He looked surprised and happy to see me, but I tried to pretend not to see him...cause well, I was kinda there with someone else. Good thing he left soon...cause otherwise...yikes!)
SilverFox and I had a pleasant time. He talked, I mostly listened. He felt compelled to tell me as much about himself as possible. I think he is pretty well off, but I could tell he was being cautious about not disclosing too about his monetary situation. I also decided to ask him why he preferred to date younger women. He has a daughter the same age as me and a son who is 3 years older than me. He said that he had triple bypass surgery and after he got better, he decided life was too short, he was married too long to a woman he only stayed with because of his kids, and that now he was a new man and he deserved it. He deserved to date a younger woman. Wow....I had never heard it put that way. I guess the title really does fit, The Young Trophy Wife/Girlfriend. These old dudes date the younger women because they think they deserve it. So the conversation was good. Some parts were a little dull. We talk about the vanity table he is making for my bedroom. Hopefully he actually makes it! Our date was ok. We didn't going anywhere else afterwards. All of it was a lot to take it in I guess...especially for him...and me too. I will admit to feeling the stares, or maybe it was in my head. Who knows.
I will say this. I didn't end the night feeling like, "OMG, I am SOOO glad this is over". I ended the night thinking/feeling....."huh.....ok". Don't know if that makes sense. So the question now is, if he asks to see me again, will I go. The answer to that is.......
So I get there and Silver Fox instantly recognizes me. He stands up to greet me and we hug. He smelled nice, was wearing a black sweater, black slacks, black everything. We had discussed where I worked and he wore a golf jacket with the name of the company where I work...haha, funny. Let me start off by saying that my first 2009 Starbucks meet and greet consisted of me buying myself my latte and my date just sitting there having a count down to when he could make out with me in the parking lot. (the date ended in me calling it a night, him walking me to my car, and then proceeding to beg for a good night kiss....not good!) My other Starbucks date consisted of my date buying my latte and looking annoyed for having to pay for it, and then didn't get up to get my drink once it was ready. Needless to say, that date didn't go well either.
In this Starbucks dates, the silver fox had selected a table against the wall. He was sitting on the cushion side and I sat on the chair. He asked if I would prefer to sit on the bench since it was more comfortable, which I gladly accepted. He then asked what I would like to drink. I told him my drink of choice and he got up and returned with a drink in hand. (side note....so I've been to this Starbucks many times before and the last time I was there alone, there was this guy there who was totally flirting me up. Well, he was there again last night! He looked surprised and happy to see me, but I tried to pretend not to see him...cause well, I was kinda there with someone else. Good thing he left soon...cause otherwise...yikes!)
SilverFox and I had a pleasant time. He talked, I mostly listened. He felt compelled to tell me as much about himself as possible. I think he is pretty well off, but I could tell he was being cautious about not disclosing too about his monetary situation. I also decided to ask him why he preferred to date younger women. He has a daughter the same age as me and a son who is 3 years older than me. He said that he had triple bypass surgery and after he got better, he decided life was too short, he was married too long to a woman he only stayed with because of his kids, and that now he was a new man and he deserved it. He deserved to date a younger woman. Wow....I had never heard it put that way. I guess the title really does fit, The Young Trophy Wife/Girlfriend. These old dudes date the younger women because they think they deserve it. So the conversation was good. Some parts were a little dull. We talk about the vanity table he is making for my bedroom. Hopefully he actually makes it! Our date was ok. We didn't going anywhere else afterwards. All of it was a lot to take it in I guess...especially for him...and me too. I will admit to feeling the stares, or maybe it was in my head. Who knows.
I will say this. I didn't end the night feeling like, "OMG, I am SOOO glad this is over". I ended the night thinking/feeling....."huh.....ok". Don't know if that makes sense. So the question now is, if he asks to see me again, will I go. The answer to that is.......
Friday, February 6, 2009
The Miata Killed It!
Last night I called my little McLovin date from Sunday. I called him thinking that maybe after talking to him on the phone, I might change my mind about not wanting to see him again. But no….talking to him on the phone only confirmed that I didn't want to see him again. I just can't deal with his voice and his personality. He would have been nice to know in HS, but now as an adult. Most guys grow out of what ever stage he is currently stuck in as a 36 year old man. So I am talking to McLovin (he sounds like a mix of McLovin and a midget…..yes, very hot) and he is making pleasant conversation. He is also going on and on about his car…."the convertible". So I finally, I was like…."ok, what kind of car is it?" He says, "Oh, I love this car so much, it’s a Miata". OMG. Ok, there are 3 cars that I think are the ultimate gay cars: 1. Miata 2. Anything VW 3. Eclipse
I just couldn't believe it. My little dorky, fedora wearing, tan shoes, with red shirt, and glasses, McLovin/midget sounding friend cruises around in a Miata. Sorry no, not happening. Let me say though, I am not shallow, superficial, or materialistic…..but come on….a Miata. If there was ever any hope of anything, he killed it with the Miata. He then proceeded to ask what I was doing Fri, Sat, Sun…..(all days which I am terribly busy), and then says…."Then maybe we can have dinner on Mon-Tues". To which I responded politely that I was terribly busy with work all of next week. I just told him we'd have to leave it "open ended"….emphasis on ENDED. Ugh, why am I such a chicken. I should have just been honest and told him that I just didn't feel a romantic connection with him….but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Oh…and then I told my mom about McLovin and she was trying to convince me to give him another chance! Even after I told her all the things I didn't like about him (I left out the Miata part). I need to just stop talking to my mom about the guys I go out on dates with. Its like she wants me to find someone irregardless of whether I like him or not. I think I deserve to find someone that appeals to me in all the major areas. I am not looking for some handsome studd…..I just want someone that is nice, who smells good, and doesn't drive an effn Miata!
I just couldn't believe it. My little dorky, fedora wearing, tan shoes, with red shirt, and glasses, McLovin/midget sounding friend cruises around in a Miata. Sorry no, not happening. Let me say though, I am not shallow, superficial, or materialistic…..but come on….a Miata. If there was ever any hope of anything, he killed it with the Miata. He then proceeded to ask what I was doing Fri, Sat, Sun…..(all days which I am terribly busy), and then says…."Then maybe we can have dinner on Mon-Tues". To which I responded politely that I was terribly busy with work all of next week. I just told him we'd have to leave it "open ended"….emphasis on ENDED. Ugh, why am I such a chicken. I should have just been honest and told him that I just didn't feel a romantic connection with him….but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Oh…and then I told my mom about McLovin and she was trying to convince me to give him another chance! Even after I told her all the things I didn't like about him (I left out the Miata part). I need to just stop talking to my mom about the guys I go out on dates with. Its like she wants me to find someone irregardless of whether I like him or not. I think I deserve to find someone that appeals to me in all the major areas. I am not looking for some handsome studd…..I just want someone that is nice, who smells good, and doesn't drive an effn Miata!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Why is it not Friday Thursday….
I think I am in a life funk. I am just tired and worn down. I think I need to take some time off from work. Maybe after a break from work, I will feel refreshed again. I had a wonderful 2 week winter break and right afterwards I hit the ground running working 60 hour weeks. Sucks being in Finance sometimes. The paycheck is nice, but the hours blow.
On the boy front, my little McLovin texted me on Tuesday asking when we could see each other again. Ugh. I hate having these conversations. All of last year I took the chicken way out and just never picked up the phone/didn't returned messages. Now that I am a more mature person, I am going to handle it correctly and actually talk to the poor guy. But I truly hate having the…."umm, I am kind busy FOREVER" conversation.
On the "Man" front. I met a man online. He is an older gentleman. I am curious to actually get around to meeting him. I totally am justifying the "Why not" factor in this potential relationship all based on Gretchen from The Real OC Housewives (TROCH). I was actually watching the show when I started talking to my older manfriend. Gretchen from the show is this super super hot blonde woman who is engaged to a very very old man. And the worst part is that he is very old and sick. Very sad. But anyways, I thought, if Gretchen from TROCH is going around with old ass Kenny Rogers….then why can't I go around with my older manfriend (who has a ranch house in Sylmar with horses, a main house in Toluca Lake, and is only in his early %)'s). I know it would never lead into anything serious because the age gap is pretty HUGE, but whats wrong with some nice older manfriend attention?
I think that’s what I need to get me out of this funk. Ugh. I am not going to write anything else cause I am in a very pissy mood. Maybe tomorrow is a better day. Ugh!
On the boy front, my little McLovin texted me on Tuesday asking when we could see each other again. Ugh. I hate having these conversations. All of last year I took the chicken way out and just never picked up the phone/didn't returned messages. Now that I am a more mature person, I am going to handle it correctly and actually talk to the poor guy. But I truly hate having the…."umm, I am kind busy FOREVER" conversation.
On the "Man" front. I met a man online. He is an older gentleman. I am curious to actually get around to meeting him. I totally am justifying the "Why not" factor in this potential relationship all based on Gretchen from The Real OC Housewives (TROCH). I was actually watching the show when I started talking to my older manfriend. Gretchen from the show is this super super hot blonde woman who is engaged to a very very old man. And the worst part is that he is very old and sick. Very sad. But anyways, I thought, if Gretchen from TROCH is going around with old ass Kenny Rogers….then why can't I go around with my older manfriend (who has a ranch house in Sylmar with horses, a main house in Toluca Lake, and is only in his early %)'s). I know it would never lead into anything serious because the age gap is pretty HUGE, but whats wrong with some nice older manfriend attention?
I think that’s what I need to get me out of this funk. Ugh. I am not going to write anything else cause I am in a very pissy mood. Maybe tomorrow is a better day. Ugh!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Tickle Me Tuesday
I suck. I had all intentions of going to the gym yesterday. I even got dressed into my gym clothes, but I felt so sleepy and tired that I decided to just go home and crawl into bed. Had I only gone home and crawled into bed, then I wouldn't suck so bad. I also went home and had a hamburger for dinner and 2 peanut butter cookies! How awesome. But today is a new day. I downloaded some good tunes last night for the gym. I am even going to go to a gym closer to my house (with hopefully some nice eye candy for while I am working out) and I plan on making today a not so tiring and shameful day. Maybe a change of scenery is what I need to get me motivated to go to the gym. The gym I last attended is very close to work, but it really smells. And the people who go are not so inspiring to look at. I know that sounds mean, but I need hot muscular good looking men walking around the gym for me to want to stick around and stare for at least 45 minutes! OMG, does that make me sound desperate for some peen??? Maybe, but its true!
On the boy front, I have not heard from my fedora wearing little friend from Sunday. I figured he kinda got the hint when I insisted he didn't have to walk me to my car…..but he did anyways and I felt compelled to give him a mercy good bye hug…..carefully trying not to have contact with his pit stains. So gross. Nonetheless….OMG, he hasn't called or email! wtf? Ok, I just had a total multi-personality mini breakdown in written form. I am trying to think of what new thing I am going to do this weekend. Maybe I will go to the Getty Museum and walk around. The only time I've been inside the museum I was rushed out of there after only 2 hours by my very hungry mother…..this time, Mama is staying home!
On the boy front, I have not heard from my fedora wearing little friend from Sunday. I figured he kinda got the hint when I insisted he didn't have to walk me to my car…..but he did anyways and I felt compelled to give him a mercy good bye hug…..carefully trying not to have contact with his pit stains. So gross. Nonetheless….OMG, he hasn't called or email! wtf? Ok, I just had a total multi-personality mini breakdown in written form. I am trying to think of what new thing I am going to do this weekend. Maybe I will go to the Getty Museum and walk around. The only time I've been inside the museum I was rushed out of there after only 2 hours by my very hungry mother…..this time, Mama is staying home!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Manic Mondays.....
I am in the worst funk today. I will try and make it a good day nonetheless. This year so far I've had 2 dates with guys I really don't care to see again. I have resumed this crazy online relationship. The guy use to be like 45 miles away from me, and now he is 400 miles away from me. Yeah, I know how to pick them. My match.com membership is going to expire in a few days and I don't think I am going to renew it. I really think I need a break from online dating. But this time for real! Lately I've been going out with guys that I am not necessarily attracted to, but men that I think would be "good" for me. But I can't approach my dating life this way. I really do think I deserve the entire package. I want a guy I am attracted to AND that is good for me. The guy who is 400 miles away, I think he'd be good for me and I like him, but seems so unrealistic. Why complicate my life with a long distance thing. Ugh…..I am in a total funk. My eharmony membership expires in April….wish it was expiring sooner, but because I think it would be a total waste to just shut down my profile since I am already paid up….I am going to keep it active.
I am going to just focus on myself. I need to start going to the gym again, I need to go out and experience real people (not limited to guys I've been meeting online). I think I just need to take an old fashion approach and actually meet men as I am out and about. I just need to focus more on being out more and not necessarily with a large group of friends. I need to maybe join some kind of club, where the sole purpose is not that of meeting someone, but the hidden goal is that of meeting someone. So today, February 2, 2009, I am going to have a fresh start. I came to work today fully equiped for a great day. I had a morning breakfast shake, brought in my lunch and fruit, and my gym bag. I am also going to start reading more. I can still watch my cheesy Reality shows, but I need to just start doing more pleasure reading. I have not done that in forever. And "reading" a book for 4 months does not count. I am also going to start spending more time outdoors. Go for long walks on the weekends. I love the beach….I can go to the beach by myself. I just need to start being more independent and stop counting on others for companionship. Its crazy how I want to find a companion/partner for my life, but in reality, I am far from being lonely. I just need to really find myself first before I can find someone that is good for me.
Ok….so I am totally excited.
p.s. I shall report to myself (and to my one faithful reader) tomorrow how my Monday went. To new beginnings!!!
I am going to just focus on myself. I need to start going to the gym again, I need to go out and experience real people (not limited to guys I've been meeting online). I think I just need to take an old fashion approach and actually meet men as I am out and about. I just need to focus more on being out more and not necessarily with a large group of friends. I need to maybe join some kind of club, where the sole purpose is not that of meeting someone, but the hidden goal is that of meeting someone. So today, February 2, 2009, I am going to have a fresh start. I came to work today fully equiped for a great day. I had a morning breakfast shake, brought in my lunch and fruit, and my gym bag. I am also going to start reading more. I can still watch my cheesy Reality shows, but I need to just start doing more pleasure reading. I have not done that in forever. And "reading" a book for 4 months does not count. I am also going to start spending more time outdoors. Go for long walks on the weekends. I love the beach….I can go to the beach by myself. I just need to start being more independent and stop counting on others for companionship. Its crazy how I want to find a companion/partner for my life, but in reality, I am far from being lonely. I just need to really find myself first before I can find someone that is good for me.
Ok….so I am totally excited.
p.s. I shall report to myself (and to my one faithful reader) tomorrow how my Monday went. To new beginnings!!!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Hello 2009!
Even though today is not officially the first day of 2009 (its actually the 5th day), for me it is the first day because today is the first day I have been required to emerge from the wonderful life of sleeping in, lounging, taking my time to shower and primp, shopping, and have truffles for breakfast. I am currently sitting at my desk, trying to kick start my brain into thinking mode (its like 2 pm), enjoying a warm Lean Cuisine lunch, and trying not to focus on how tight my jeans are on the waist. Yes, welcome to the world of feeling like a stuffed sausage after the Holidays. It is awesome. I thanked my co-worker this morning for the lovely box of delicious truffles she gave me for Christmas which are now nicely spread on my ass, my thighs, my stomach, and the last of it smeared on my now more visible double chin. It is awesome.
So I've been emailing with this guy from match.com whom I was speaking to months and months ago. I never actually met up with him because I was so turned off from his pictures. It's not that I am superficial or anything, but he totally worked himself up in the looks department that when he actually got around to sending me a picture of himself, I was like…."Are you kidding me?" So that was earlier this year. Now….in 2009 I feel more mature and less delusional with regards to my expectations from a potential life partner. Oh, and did I mention he is terrible at writing emails? Whatever….so I decided to send him an email today (because I would rather do anything else right now except work) in which I remind him that we spoke a while ago and I recall him being a nice guy, but wasn't sure why we never ended up meeting. I am going to give him one more chance to redeem himself from his crappy recent emails. Just so that I can say, I tried and was grown up about it. To new beginnings!
So I've been emailing with this guy from match.com whom I was speaking to months and months ago. I never actually met up with him because I was so turned off from his pictures. It's not that I am superficial or anything, but he totally worked himself up in the looks department that when he actually got around to sending me a picture of himself, I was like…."Are you kidding me?" So that was earlier this year. Now….in 2009 I feel more mature and less delusional with regards to my expectations from a potential life partner. Oh, and did I mention he is terrible at writing emails? Whatever….so I decided to send him an email today (because I would rather do anything else right now except work) in which I remind him that we spoke a while ago and I recall him being a nice guy, but wasn't sure why we never ended up meeting. I am going to give him one more chance to redeem himself from his crappy recent emails. Just so that I can say, I tried and was grown up about it. To new beginnings!
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