Manic Mondays.....

I am in the worst funk today. I will try and make it a good day nonetheless. This year so far I've had 2 dates with guys I really don't care to see again. I have resumed this crazy online relationship. The guy use to be like 45 miles away from me, and now he is 400 miles away from me. Yeah, I know how to pick them. My match.com membership is going to expire in a few days and I don't think I am going to renew it. I really think I need a break from online dating. But this time for real! Lately I've been going out with guys that I am not necessarily attracted to, but men that I think would be "good" for me. But I can't approach my dating life this way. I really do think I deserve the entire package. I want a guy I am attracted to AND that is good for me. The guy who is 400 miles away, I think he'd be good for me and I like him, but seems so unrealistic. Why complicate my life with a long distance thing. Ugh…..I am in a total funk. My eharmony membership expires in April….wish it was expiring sooner, but because I think it would be a total waste to just shut down my profile since I am already paid up….I am going to keep it active.

I am going to just focus on myself. I need to start going to the gym again, I need to go out and experience real people (not limited to guys I've been meeting online). I think I just need to take an old fashion approach and actually meet men as I am out and about. I just need to focus more on being out more and not necessarily with a large group of friends. I need to maybe join some kind of club, where the sole purpose is not that of meeting someone, but the hidden goal is that of meeting someone. So today, February 2, 2009, I am going to have a fresh start. I came to work today fully equiped for a great day. I had a morning breakfast shake, brought in my lunch and fruit, and my gym bag. I am also going to start reading more. I can still watch my cheesy Reality shows, but I need to just start doing more pleasure reading. I have not done that in forever. And "reading" a book for 4 months does not count. I am also going to start spending more time outdoors. Go for long walks on the weekends. I love the beach….I can go to the beach by myself. I just need to start being more independent and stop counting on others for companionship. Its crazy how I want to find a companion/partner for my life, but in reality, I am far from being lonely. I just need to really find myself first before I can find someone that is good for me.

Ok….so I am totally excited.

p.s. I shall report to myself (and to my one faithful reader) tomorrow how my Monday went. To new beginnings!!!