Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I Am Just Not "That" Girl
I've been giving my older gentleman situation lots of thought and consideration over the past few days, and I have come to realize that the entire arrangement is just not me. I am not like The Real Housewives of OC. I am a girl from the valley. I work hard. I pay for my own things. I know how to have fun and live my life without the aide/weight of a man. I am just not that kind of girl. I can not go out with someone for only the novelty of it all. I need to be vested in trying to pursue something else with the person. And if I do go out with someone casually, it has to be someone that is not old enough to be my father. Its like the more I think about it, the more wrong it feels. As awesome as the following statement is about to sound, I can not settle for being someone's Trophy Girlfriend! I have not broken the news to my older gentleman friend. Yesterday was the first day we did not communicate since we've started talking to each other. I am going to take the chicken way out as long as possible. When he does call me to inquire why I have been MIA, I will have to be honest with him and tell him that the age difference really freaks me out. I am sure he will understand and move on to some LA Bimbo who will be more than willing to be his Trophy Girlfriend…..it just won't be me.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Older Men......
Last night I went to a meet and greet with my new older gentlemen friend. At first I thought we'd meet for dinner, but when he suggested we first meet at Starbucks and then go from there, I thought.....yeah, perfect. Perfect because if it all was too awkward and weird, then we could just meet for maybe 30 mins and then call it a night as oppose to a full meal which could entail a possible polite 2 hours. So I am in route to Starbucks and I walk in not really knowing what to expect....and there he was...my date, the silver fox. My date looked like a cross between Ted Danson and Al Paccino...I know....hard to explain. Too bad he didn't look like my old man crush Mr. Nicholson, cause then...who knows how the night would have ended!
So I get there and Silver Fox instantly recognizes me. He stands up to greet me and we hug. He smelled nice, was wearing a black sweater, black slacks, black everything. We had discussed where I worked and he wore a golf jacket with the name of the company where I work...haha, funny. Let me start off by saying that my first 2009 Starbucks meet and greet consisted of me buying myself my latte and my date just sitting there having a count down to when he could make out with me in the parking lot. (the date ended in me calling it a night, him walking me to my car, and then proceeding to beg for a good night kiss....not good!) My other Starbucks date consisted of my date buying my latte and looking annoyed for having to pay for it, and then didn't get up to get my drink once it was ready. Needless to say, that date didn't go well either.
In this Starbucks dates, the silver fox had selected a table against the wall. He was sitting on the cushion side and I sat on the chair. He asked if I would prefer to sit on the bench since it was more comfortable, which I gladly accepted. He then asked what I would like to drink. I told him my drink of choice and he got up and returned with a drink in hand. (side note....so I've been to this Starbucks many times before and the last time I was there alone, there was this guy there who was totally flirting me up. Well, he was there again last night! He looked surprised and happy to see me, but I tried to pretend not to see him...cause well, I was kinda there with someone else. Good thing he left soon...cause otherwise...yikes!)
SilverFox and I had a pleasant time. He talked, I mostly listened. He felt compelled to tell me as much about himself as possible. I think he is pretty well off, but I could tell he was being cautious about not disclosing too about his monetary situation. I also decided to ask him why he preferred to date younger women. He has a daughter the same age as me and a son who is 3 years older than me. He said that he had triple bypass surgery and after he got better, he decided life was too short, he was married too long to a woman he only stayed with because of his kids, and that now he was a new man and he deserved it. He deserved to date a younger woman. Wow....I had never heard it put that way. I guess the title really does fit, The Young Trophy Wife/Girlfriend. These old dudes date the younger women because they think they deserve it. So the conversation was good. Some parts were a little dull. We talk about the vanity table he is making for my bedroom. Hopefully he actually makes it! Our date was ok. We didn't going anywhere else afterwards. All of it was a lot to take it in I guess...especially for him...and me too. I will admit to feeling the stares, or maybe it was in my head. Who knows.
I will say this. I didn't end the night feeling like, "OMG, I am SOOO glad this is over". I ended the night thinking/feeling....."huh.....ok". Don't know if that makes sense. So the question now is, if he asks to see me again, will I go. The answer to that is.......
So I get there and Silver Fox instantly recognizes me. He stands up to greet me and we hug. He smelled nice, was wearing a black sweater, black slacks, black everything. We had discussed where I worked and he wore a golf jacket with the name of the company where I work...haha, funny. Let me start off by saying that my first 2009 Starbucks meet and greet consisted of me buying myself my latte and my date just sitting there having a count down to when he could make out with me in the parking lot. (the date ended in me calling it a night, him walking me to my car, and then proceeding to beg for a good night kiss....not good!) My other Starbucks date consisted of my date buying my latte and looking annoyed for having to pay for it, and then didn't get up to get my drink once it was ready. Needless to say, that date didn't go well either.
In this Starbucks dates, the silver fox had selected a table against the wall. He was sitting on the cushion side and I sat on the chair. He asked if I would prefer to sit on the bench since it was more comfortable, which I gladly accepted. He then asked what I would like to drink. I told him my drink of choice and he got up and returned with a drink in hand. (side note....so I've been to this Starbucks many times before and the last time I was there alone, there was this guy there who was totally flirting me up. Well, he was there again last night! He looked surprised and happy to see me, but I tried to pretend not to see him...cause well, I was kinda there with someone else. Good thing he left soon...cause otherwise...yikes!)
SilverFox and I had a pleasant time. He talked, I mostly listened. He felt compelled to tell me as much about himself as possible. I think he is pretty well off, but I could tell he was being cautious about not disclosing too about his monetary situation. I also decided to ask him why he preferred to date younger women. He has a daughter the same age as me and a son who is 3 years older than me. He said that he had triple bypass surgery and after he got better, he decided life was too short, he was married too long to a woman he only stayed with because of his kids, and that now he was a new man and he deserved it. He deserved to date a younger woman. Wow....I had never heard it put that way. I guess the title really does fit, The Young Trophy Wife/Girlfriend. These old dudes date the younger women because they think they deserve it. So the conversation was good. Some parts were a little dull. We talk about the vanity table he is making for my bedroom. Hopefully he actually makes it! Our date was ok. We didn't going anywhere else afterwards. All of it was a lot to take it in I guess...especially for him...and me too. I will admit to feeling the stares, or maybe it was in my head. Who knows.
I will say this. I didn't end the night feeling like, "OMG, I am SOOO glad this is over". I ended the night thinking/feeling....."huh.....ok". Don't know if that makes sense. So the question now is, if he asks to see me again, will I go. The answer to that is.......
Friday, February 6, 2009
The Miata Killed It!
Last night I called my little McLovin date from Sunday. I called him thinking that maybe after talking to him on the phone, I might change my mind about not wanting to see him again. But no….talking to him on the phone only confirmed that I didn't want to see him again. I just can't deal with his voice and his personality. He would have been nice to know in HS, but now as an adult. Most guys grow out of what ever stage he is currently stuck in as a 36 year old man. So I am talking to McLovin (he sounds like a mix of McLovin and a midget…..yes, very hot) and he is making pleasant conversation. He is also going on and on about his car…."the convertible". So I finally, I was like…."ok, what kind of car is it?" He says, "Oh, I love this car so much, it’s a Miata". OMG. Ok, there are 3 cars that I think are the ultimate gay cars: 1. Miata 2. Anything VW 3. Eclipse
I just couldn't believe it. My little dorky, fedora wearing, tan shoes, with red shirt, and glasses, McLovin/midget sounding friend cruises around in a Miata. Sorry no, not happening. Let me say though, I am not shallow, superficial, or materialistic…..but come on….a Miata. If there was ever any hope of anything, he killed it with the Miata. He then proceeded to ask what I was doing Fri, Sat, Sun…..(all days which I am terribly busy), and then says…."Then maybe we can have dinner on Mon-Tues". To which I responded politely that I was terribly busy with work all of next week. I just told him we'd have to leave it "open ended"….emphasis on ENDED. Ugh, why am I such a chicken. I should have just been honest and told him that I just didn't feel a romantic connection with him….but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Oh…and then I told my mom about McLovin and she was trying to convince me to give him another chance! Even after I told her all the things I didn't like about him (I left out the Miata part). I need to just stop talking to my mom about the guys I go out on dates with. Its like she wants me to find someone irregardless of whether I like him or not. I think I deserve to find someone that appeals to me in all the major areas. I am not looking for some handsome studd…..I just want someone that is nice, who smells good, and doesn't drive an effn Miata!
I just couldn't believe it. My little dorky, fedora wearing, tan shoes, with red shirt, and glasses, McLovin/midget sounding friend cruises around in a Miata. Sorry no, not happening. Let me say though, I am not shallow, superficial, or materialistic…..but come on….a Miata. If there was ever any hope of anything, he killed it with the Miata. He then proceeded to ask what I was doing Fri, Sat, Sun…..(all days which I am terribly busy), and then says…."Then maybe we can have dinner on Mon-Tues". To which I responded politely that I was terribly busy with work all of next week. I just told him we'd have to leave it "open ended"….emphasis on ENDED. Ugh, why am I such a chicken. I should have just been honest and told him that I just didn't feel a romantic connection with him….but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Oh…and then I told my mom about McLovin and she was trying to convince me to give him another chance! Even after I told her all the things I didn't like about him (I left out the Miata part). I need to just stop talking to my mom about the guys I go out on dates with. Its like she wants me to find someone irregardless of whether I like him or not. I think I deserve to find someone that appeals to me in all the major areas. I am not looking for some handsome studd…..I just want someone that is nice, who smells good, and doesn't drive an effn Miata!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Why is it not Friday Thursday….
I think I am in a life funk. I am just tired and worn down. I think I need to take some time off from work. Maybe after a break from work, I will feel refreshed again. I had a wonderful 2 week winter break and right afterwards I hit the ground running working 60 hour weeks. Sucks being in Finance sometimes. The paycheck is nice, but the hours blow.
On the boy front, my little McLovin texted me on Tuesday asking when we could see each other again. Ugh. I hate having these conversations. All of last year I took the chicken way out and just never picked up the phone/didn't returned messages. Now that I am a more mature person, I am going to handle it correctly and actually talk to the poor guy. But I truly hate having the…."umm, I am kind busy FOREVER" conversation.
On the "Man" front. I met a man online. He is an older gentleman. I am curious to actually get around to meeting him. I totally am justifying the "Why not" factor in this potential relationship all based on Gretchen from The Real OC Housewives (TROCH). I was actually watching the show when I started talking to my older manfriend. Gretchen from the show is this super super hot blonde woman who is engaged to a very very old man. And the worst part is that he is very old and sick. Very sad. But anyways, I thought, if Gretchen from TROCH is going around with old ass Kenny Rogers….then why can't I go around with my older manfriend (who has a ranch house in Sylmar with horses, a main house in Toluca Lake, and is only in his early %)'s). I know it would never lead into anything serious because the age gap is pretty HUGE, but whats wrong with some nice older manfriend attention?
I think that’s what I need to get me out of this funk. Ugh. I am not going to write anything else cause I am in a very pissy mood. Maybe tomorrow is a better day. Ugh!
On the boy front, my little McLovin texted me on Tuesday asking when we could see each other again. Ugh. I hate having these conversations. All of last year I took the chicken way out and just never picked up the phone/didn't returned messages. Now that I am a more mature person, I am going to handle it correctly and actually talk to the poor guy. But I truly hate having the…."umm, I am kind busy FOREVER" conversation.
On the "Man" front. I met a man online. He is an older gentleman. I am curious to actually get around to meeting him. I totally am justifying the "Why not" factor in this potential relationship all based on Gretchen from The Real OC Housewives (TROCH). I was actually watching the show when I started talking to my older manfriend. Gretchen from the show is this super super hot blonde woman who is engaged to a very very old man. And the worst part is that he is very old and sick. Very sad. But anyways, I thought, if Gretchen from TROCH is going around with old ass Kenny Rogers….then why can't I go around with my older manfriend (who has a ranch house in Sylmar with horses, a main house in Toluca Lake, and is only in his early %)'s). I know it would never lead into anything serious because the age gap is pretty HUGE, but whats wrong with some nice older manfriend attention?
I think that’s what I need to get me out of this funk. Ugh. I am not going to write anything else cause I am in a very pissy mood. Maybe tomorrow is a better day. Ugh!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Tickle Me Tuesday
I suck. I had all intentions of going to the gym yesterday. I even got dressed into my gym clothes, but I felt so sleepy and tired that I decided to just go home and crawl into bed. Had I only gone home and crawled into bed, then I wouldn't suck so bad. I also went home and had a hamburger for dinner and 2 peanut butter cookies! How awesome. But today is a new day. I downloaded some good tunes last night for the gym. I am even going to go to a gym closer to my house (with hopefully some nice eye candy for while I am working out) and I plan on making today a not so tiring and shameful day. Maybe a change of scenery is what I need to get me motivated to go to the gym. The gym I last attended is very close to work, but it really smells. And the people who go are not so inspiring to look at. I know that sounds mean, but I need hot muscular good looking men walking around the gym for me to want to stick around and stare for at least 45 minutes! OMG, does that make me sound desperate for some peen??? Maybe, but its true!
On the boy front, I have not heard from my fedora wearing little friend from Sunday. I figured he kinda got the hint when I insisted he didn't have to walk me to my car…..but he did anyways and I felt compelled to give him a mercy good bye hug…..carefully trying not to have contact with his pit stains. So gross. Nonetheless….OMG, he hasn't called or email! wtf? Ok, I just had a total multi-personality mini breakdown in written form. I am trying to think of what new thing I am going to do this weekend. Maybe I will go to the Getty Museum and walk around. The only time I've been inside the museum I was rushed out of there after only 2 hours by my very hungry mother…..this time, Mama is staying home!
On the boy front, I have not heard from my fedora wearing little friend from Sunday. I figured he kinda got the hint when I insisted he didn't have to walk me to my car…..but he did anyways and I felt compelled to give him a mercy good bye hug…..carefully trying not to have contact with his pit stains. So gross. Nonetheless….OMG, he hasn't called or email! wtf? Ok, I just had a total multi-personality mini breakdown in written form. I am trying to think of what new thing I am going to do this weekend. Maybe I will go to the Getty Museum and walk around. The only time I've been inside the museum I was rushed out of there after only 2 hours by my very hungry mother…..this time, Mama is staying home!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Manic Mondays.....
I am in the worst funk today. I will try and make it a good day nonetheless. This year so far I've had 2 dates with guys I really don't care to see again. I have resumed this crazy online relationship. The guy use to be like 45 miles away from me, and now he is 400 miles away from me. Yeah, I know how to pick them. My match.com membership is going to expire in a few days and I don't think I am going to renew it. I really think I need a break from online dating. But this time for real! Lately I've been going out with guys that I am not necessarily attracted to, but men that I think would be "good" for me. But I can't approach my dating life this way. I really do think I deserve the entire package. I want a guy I am attracted to AND that is good for me. The guy who is 400 miles away, I think he'd be good for me and I like him, but seems so unrealistic. Why complicate my life with a long distance thing. Ugh…..I am in a total funk. My eharmony membership expires in April….wish it was expiring sooner, but because I think it would be a total waste to just shut down my profile since I am already paid up….I am going to keep it active.
I am going to just focus on myself. I need to start going to the gym again, I need to go out and experience real people (not limited to guys I've been meeting online). I think I just need to take an old fashion approach and actually meet men as I am out and about. I just need to focus more on being out more and not necessarily with a large group of friends. I need to maybe join some kind of club, where the sole purpose is not that of meeting someone, but the hidden goal is that of meeting someone. So today, February 2, 2009, I am going to have a fresh start. I came to work today fully equiped for a great day. I had a morning breakfast shake, brought in my lunch and fruit, and my gym bag. I am also going to start reading more. I can still watch my cheesy Reality shows, but I need to just start doing more pleasure reading. I have not done that in forever. And "reading" a book for 4 months does not count. I am also going to start spending more time outdoors. Go for long walks on the weekends. I love the beach….I can go to the beach by myself. I just need to start being more independent and stop counting on others for companionship. Its crazy how I want to find a companion/partner for my life, but in reality, I am far from being lonely. I just need to really find myself first before I can find someone that is good for me.
Ok….so I am totally excited.
p.s. I shall report to myself (and to my one faithful reader) tomorrow how my Monday went. To new beginnings!!!
I am going to just focus on myself. I need to start going to the gym again, I need to go out and experience real people (not limited to guys I've been meeting online). I think I just need to take an old fashion approach and actually meet men as I am out and about. I just need to focus more on being out more and not necessarily with a large group of friends. I need to maybe join some kind of club, where the sole purpose is not that of meeting someone, but the hidden goal is that of meeting someone. So today, February 2, 2009, I am going to have a fresh start. I came to work today fully equiped for a great day. I had a morning breakfast shake, brought in my lunch and fruit, and my gym bag. I am also going to start reading more. I can still watch my cheesy Reality shows, but I need to just start doing more pleasure reading. I have not done that in forever. And "reading" a book for 4 months does not count. I am also going to start spending more time outdoors. Go for long walks on the weekends. I love the beach….I can go to the beach by myself. I just need to start being more independent and stop counting on others for companionship. Its crazy how I want to find a companion/partner for my life, but in reality, I am far from being lonely. I just need to really find myself first before I can find someone that is good for me.
Ok….so I am totally excited.
p.s. I shall report to myself (and to my one faithful reader) tomorrow how my Monday went. To new beginnings!!!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Hello 2009!
Even though today is not officially the first day of 2009 (its actually the 5th day), for me it is the first day because today is the first day I have been required to emerge from the wonderful life of sleeping in, lounging, taking my time to shower and primp, shopping, and have truffles for breakfast. I am currently sitting at my desk, trying to kick start my brain into thinking mode (its like 2 pm), enjoying a warm Lean Cuisine lunch, and trying not to focus on how tight my jeans are on the waist. Yes, welcome to the world of feeling like a stuffed sausage after the Holidays. It is awesome. I thanked my co-worker this morning for the lovely box of delicious truffles she gave me for Christmas which are now nicely spread on my ass, my thighs, my stomach, and the last of it smeared on my now more visible double chin. It is awesome.
So I've been emailing with this guy from match.com whom I was speaking to months and months ago. I never actually met up with him because I was so turned off from his pictures. It's not that I am superficial or anything, but he totally worked himself up in the looks department that when he actually got around to sending me a picture of himself, I was like…."Are you kidding me?" So that was earlier this year. Now….in 2009 I feel more mature and less delusional with regards to my expectations from a potential life partner. Oh, and did I mention he is terrible at writing emails? Whatever….so I decided to send him an email today (because I would rather do anything else right now except work) in which I remind him that we spoke a while ago and I recall him being a nice guy, but wasn't sure why we never ended up meeting. I am going to give him one more chance to redeem himself from his crappy recent emails. Just so that I can say, I tried and was grown up about it. To new beginnings!
So I've been emailing with this guy from match.com whom I was speaking to months and months ago. I never actually met up with him because I was so turned off from his pictures. It's not that I am superficial or anything, but he totally worked himself up in the looks department that when he actually got around to sending me a picture of himself, I was like…."Are you kidding me?" So that was earlier this year. Now….in 2009 I feel more mature and less delusional with regards to my expectations from a potential life partner. Oh, and did I mention he is terrible at writing emails? Whatever….so I decided to send him an email today (because I would rather do anything else right now except work) in which I remind him that we spoke a while ago and I recall him being a nice guy, but wasn't sure why we never ended up meeting. I am going to give him one more chance to redeem himself from his crappy recent emails. Just so that I can say, I tried and was grown up about it. To new beginnings!
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