Last night I decided to relax and spend some quality time with mom…..watching Spanish soap operas. Spanish soap operas are similar to American soap operas in that there is always a lot of unnecessary drama, people coming back from the dead, and there is always a question of paternity....and sometimes even maternity. Both styles have really attractive characters. All the woman always have on a full face of make-up even while just lounging around at home, and only when they are trying to appear ill do the actors shed their layers of make-up and courageously show their make-up free images. How the American and Spanish soap operas differ is in the length of the show. A Spanish soap opera has a beginning, a middle, and an end…..all within the lovely confines of about 9-12 months (12 months is pushing it). Maybe they think Latinos don't have the commitment or the attention span. Who knows. And of course the American soap operas last FOREVER…….omg….Susan Lucci is like 112 yrs old! Retire already!
So we're watching and I notice the men in the soap are so incredibly in love and devoted to their love interest. To the point where they are fighting, yelling, karate chopping other men, crying, singing, and admitting that they would never ever cheat on their beloved even with their thoughts. All of this within 8 minutes of uninterrupted Spanish-drama-fest. And I turn to my mom and said, "Mom, that’s what I want. I want a man to just loose all thought or reason because he is blinded by his love for me." To which my mom responds, "Yeah….keep dreaming."
But why must I only keep this to a dream? I am sure there are people out there in the world who share this deep love and passionate connection for one another. Or is it all really just smoke and mirrors? A mirage? If so, then when is a girl ever to truly fall in love? This is why I watch The Hills. All the eff'd up petty crap LC and her friends worry about are so silly and lame…..makes me appreciate my normal life (with only my self-induced drama of course). :)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
My Date with Dr. Feel Good
Last night I had an interesting date with Candidate #2- Dr. Feel Good
Let me begin by saying that I was ready to cancel on Dr. Feel Good. I have been having the most terrible week in a LONG time. And I considered cancelling on him because I felt like I had been having such a terrible week, did I really need something else to add to the terribleness of it all? Yes, terribleness. Like terrible to the 2nd power…..terrible squared.
All day I was going back and forth on if I should go? should I cancel? What if I get rejected again! I cannot take 2 flat out rejections in a week. My poor crushed ego. Basically, I was "Chicking out". So after various emails and instant messages with my good gal pals, I decided eff it, I am going to go. Que sera sera. And yes, I work. Somehow I managed to stay productive during my work day while having my internal battles and my self esteem swings. A lot of times I do feel overwhelmed. Like its too much for my little head to handle.
So 6:50 pm strolls along, and I decide I should primp a little for my date with Dr. FG. By 7:20 I am on the road, in route to the beach. Dr. FG wanted to meet at some little Cuban café by the beach….ugh. I kinda gave him the "egh" when he suggested the meeting place, and somehow I changed my mind and agreed to go meet him at the beach. So I arrive at the little Cuban café and I don't see him. I've only seen a few pictures of him, but when I peeked inside, I didn't really see anyone who resembled there….so I step outside to give him a call….and as I am starting to dial him, I notice a man who looks over from the bar area….and it was Dr. Feel Good. I look over at him and I get a warm fuzzy feeling. He has a big smile on his face, he is dressed for a date (dark jeans, white button down shirt, black leather jacket, and black dress shoes), and he looks like a nice normal man. Just what the doctor ordered!
I walk in, and he gets up and gives me a hug (we didn't have an awkward moment, no pausing, just nice and natural). I then take off my coat (which he helps me with), and as I am taking off my coat, I see him giving me the once over. I sit down and we start talking right away. The conversation just flowed, the drinks flowed, the chemistry continued to simmer nicely. 3 mojitos later (my 3rd, his 4th), we somehow are holding hands, and then he leaned over and kissed me…..and the chemistry started to more than simmer. After our drinks and out first PDA (public displays of affection), he suggests we go for a walk on the pier. The night was spectacular. You could see the stars I the sky, the waves crashing, and the air was nice a crisp. We held hands as we walked (he has nice soft hands….not terribly soft….but soft enough) and we stopped here and there for some more kissing. We then find a spot to stop and continue kissing….its now maybe close to midnight. We're kissing, enjoying each other….he starts to kiss my chest a little and I see HEADLIGHTS! And no…not my headlights THANK GOD. It’s the beach patrol, omg….the cop says, "Hey, whats up guys?" Dr. Feel Good says, "Oh, we're just enjoying the beach". The cop then tells us that he has to close the pier gates. So of course, the beach cop decides he will follow us in his big ass truck with the headlights on and escorts us the entire length of the pier!
Dr. Feel Good and I both agreed that this was definitely one for the books! Who gets a police escort on their first date!?!?
Let me begin by saying that I was ready to cancel on Dr. Feel Good. I have been having the most terrible week in a LONG time. And I considered cancelling on him because I felt like I had been having such a terrible week, did I really need something else to add to the terribleness of it all? Yes, terribleness. Like terrible to the 2nd power…..terrible squared.
All day I was going back and forth on if I should go? should I cancel? What if I get rejected again! I cannot take 2 flat out rejections in a week. My poor crushed ego. Basically, I was "Chicking out". So after various emails and instant messages with my good gal pals, I decided eff it, I am going to go. Que sera sera. And yes, I work. Somehow I managed to stay productive during my work day while having my internal battles and my self esteem swings. A lot of times I do feel overwhelmed. Like its too much for my little head to handle.
So 6:50 pm strolls along, and I decide I should primp a little for my date with Dr. FG. By 7:20 I am on the road, in route to the beach. Dr. FG wanted to meet at some little Cuban café by the beach….ugh. I kinda gave him the "egh" when he suggested the meeting place, and somehow I changed my mind and agreed to go meet him at the beach. So I arrive at the little Cuban café and I don't see him. I've only seen a few pictures of him, but when I peeked inside, I didn't really see anyone who resembled there….so I step outside to give him a call….and as I am starting to dial him, I notice a man who looks over from the bar area….and it was Dr. Feel Good. I look over at him and I get a warm fuzzy feeling. He has a big smile on his face, he is dressed for a date (dark jeans, white button down shirt, black leather jacket, and black dress shoes), and he looks like a nice normal man. Just what the doctor ordered!
I walk in, and he gets up and gives me a hug (we didn't have an awkward moment, no pausing, just nice and natural). I then take off my coat (which he helps me with), and as I am taking off my coat, I see him giving me the once over. I sit down and we start talking right away. The conversation just flowed, the drinks flowed, the chemistry continued to simmer nicely. 3 mojitos later (my 3rd, his 4th), we somehow are holding hands, and then he leaned over and kissed me…..and the chemistry started to more than simmer. After our drinks and out first PDA (public displays of affection), he suggests we go for a walk on the pier. The night was spectacular. You could see the stars I the sky, the waves crashing, and the air was nice a crisp. We held hands as we walked (he has nice soft hands….not terribly soft….but soft enough) and we stopped here and there for some more kissing. We then find a spot to stop and continue kissing….its now maybe close to midnight. We're kissing, enjoying each other….he starts to kiss my chest a little and I see HEADLIGHTS! And no…not my headlights THANK GOD. It’s the beach patrol, omg….the cop says, "Hey, whats up guys?" Dr. Feel Good says, "Oh, we're just enjoying the beach". The cop then tells us that he has to close the pier gates. So of course, the beach cop decides he will follow us in his big ass truck with the headlights on and escorts us the entire length of the pier!
Dr. Feel Good and I both agreed that this was definitely one for the books! Who gets a police escort on their first date!?!?
Sunday, November 30, 2008
My Date with the Plunger
Tonight I achieved a personal best....a date lasting 30 minutes!
What a Saturday! I woke up terribly hung over from Friday night. Oh, what a Friday night. To recap, I went with a good friend to see a college friend's performance (her friend). The night started off innocently enough. Small dive in Hollywood with very very strong martinis. Long story short, I had 4 drinks too many, talked to a guy with 6 inch spikes on his head and another with a spike collar, purchased a toy at the Hustler store (after some guy gave me his personal picks on toys), threw up on Sunset while some valet guys walked by, got home threw up some more....then passed out. Yes.....I know.
So Saturday comes along and so does my date with Matt the Plumber. I really thought about rescheduling for some other day,but then decided I wanted to just meet him and get it over with. So I manage to shower, change out of my pjs, and trekked it over to the Sherman Oaks Galleria (SOG) for my "coffee date". This location was picked because my date is an ex-alcoholic (17 years sober). I found out about this on Friday, the day before our date, and I decided to still meet him anyways (pre the 4 too many vodka drinks). So I arrive at the SOG for my date and I see him sitting outside Starbucks. He stands up to greet me and there are about 4 inches missing from what I was expecting....and we're not talking penis size. There was an awkward, should we shake hands? Hug? So I, being Latin, go in for the hug. And then we stand there for a few seconds too long to which he says, "Well, should we go in?" I said sure. So I am already not really feeling it. The thought of asking, "Do you really want to have coffee....or should we just call it a night" passed by my head...but I thought, no, I am already here, I showered, and put some effort into looking decent.
We get to the counter and I ordered a grande gingerbread latte and he orders a grande decaf coffee followed by, "I have to get up early tomorrow, so I don't want to be up all night", translation, lets drink this and get it over with so I can leave. Wow, I am getting good at reading people. Oh, and let me add this, he looked annoyed that our date was costing him over $5 because he made a face when he was handed 4 singles, a 10, and change.
So I suggested a seat by the window so I could people watch while enjoying my latte. During our 25 minute meet and greet, my date yawned 5 times, complained about meeting at a "mall" (to which I responded, it is the closest Starbucks I know to the 405 [he drove his motorcycle from Gardena to Sherman Oaks], he also complained that I told him the exit was Sepulveda and not Ventura, he complained about Starbucks and said he preferred Coffee Bean, and he sprinkled the conversation with some of the typical 20 questions to ask:
1. Where did you go to school?
2. Where did you grow up?
3. Blah blah blah blah
So about minute 28 he has finished making confetti out of his cup holder, chugged his decaf coffee, and the following is said,
Him: "So, I think I am going to get going"
Me: "Ok"
Him: "Alright, it was nice meeting you"
Me: "Ok, see ya"
And before the word "ya" even left my mouth, poof....he gets up and leaves! Just like that!!! how rude!!! I mean, come on guy? Have some manners! This was the first time ever a guy just literally, got up and left. I've had first dates before where the chemistry was not exactly there, but the guy usually is decent enough to be polite and go through the whole "good bye" formality....this guy just got up, and took off. Wow.
And I am not going to say, he has no manners because he's a plumber. I am going to say, he has no manners becuase he's a PLUNGER! What a douche.
What a Saturday! I woke up terribly hung over from Friday night. Oh, what a Friday night. To recap, I went with a good friend to see a college friend's performance (her friend). The night started off innocently enough. Small dive in Hollywood with very very strong martinis. Long story short, I had 4 drinks too many, talked to a guy with 6 inch spikes on his head and another with a spike collar, purchased a toy at the Hustler store (after some guy gave me his personal picks on toys), threw up on Sunset while some valet guys walked by, got home threw up some more....then passed out. Yes.....I know.
So Saturday comes along and so does my date with Matt the Plumber. I really thought about rescheduling for some other day,but then decided I wanted to just meet him and get it over with. So I manage to shower, change out of my pjs, and trekked it over to the Sherman Oaks Galleria (SOG) for my "coffee date". This location was picked because my date is an ex-alcoholic (17 years sober). I found out about this on Friday, the day before our date, and I decided to still meet him anyways (pre the 4 too many vodka drinks). So I arrive at the SOG for my date and I see him sitting outside Starbucks. He stands up to greet me and there are about 4 inches missing from what I was expecting....and we're not talking penis size. There was an awkward, should we shake hands? Hug? So I, being Latin, go in for the hug. And then we stand there for a few seconds too long to which he says, "Well, should we go in?" I said sure. So I am already not really feeling it. The thought of asking, "Do you really want to have coffee....or should we just call it a night" passed by my head...but I thought, no, I am already here, I showered, and put some effort into looking decent.
We get to the counter and I ordered a grande gingerbread latte and he orders a grande decaf coffee followed by, "I have to get up early tomorrow, so I don't want to be up all night", translation, lets drink this and get it over with so I can leave. Wow, I am getting good at reading people. Oh, and let me add this, he looked annoyed that our date was costing him over $5 because he made a face when he was handed 4 singles, a 10, and change.
So I suggested a seat by the window so I could people watch while enjoying my latte. During our 25 minute meet and greet, my date yawned 5 times, complained about meeting at a "mall" (to which I responded, it is the closest Starbucks I know to the 405 [he drove his motorcycle from Gardena to Sherman Oaks], he also complained that I told him the exit was Sepulveda and not Ventura, he complained about Starbucks and said he preferred Coffee Bean, and he sprinkled the conversation with some of the typical 20 questions to ask:
1. Where did you go to school?
2. Where did you grow up?
3. Blah blah blah blah
So about minute 28 he has finished making confetti out of his cup holder, chugged his decaf coffee, and the following is said,
Him: "So, I think I am going to get going"
Me: "Ok"
Him: "Alright, it was nice meeting you"
Me: "Ok, see ya"
And before the word "ya" even left my mouth, poof....he gets up and leaves! Just like that!!! how rude!!! I mean, come on guy? Have some manners! This was the first time ever a guy just literally, got up and left. I've had first dates before where the chemistry was not exactly there, but the guy usually is decent enough to be polite and go through the whole "good bye" formality....this guy just got up, and took off. Wow.
And I am not going to say, he has no manners because he's a plumber. I am going to say, he has no manners becuase he's a PLUNGER! What a douche.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
When it rains, it pours.....
Finally!!!
So along with all the wonderful rain we've been getting in Socal....I finally have decent date candidates!
Candidate #1
Name: Matt, Match.com
Age/Height: 38/6'0
Occupation: Plumber
What I like about him: he's a cool guy. simple. easy to talk to. he knows how to fix stuff. he works with his hands. he's a guys guy. he likes to camp...we have not discussed what I consider camping (staying at the Best Western near the camp site) vs his idea of camping (tent, sleeping bag, sleeping on the floor). We've been talking since last week. Phone conversations are great. He is the first guy I have ever texted with that texts "ttyl". haha! Kinda cute...makes me smile that he does that. We have made plans to meet this upcoming Sat. Everytime we finish a phone conversations he says, "I am really looking forward to meeting you". That makes me smile too.
Candidate #2
Name: Mark, eHarmony (Yes....someone from eHarmony....keep reading)
Age/Height: 42/5'7
Occupation: Doctor
What I like about him: He's funny. A sense of humor is a must for me. big time. based on his pictures, he is not the type of guy i usually go for, but I also have to take into account that what I have been selecting for myself, has not necessarily been working for me. So, I am open to new experiences and new people. He is not an actual member of eHarmony (go figure). He did the whole "communicate for free" for 3 days promotion. Smart guy, cause he included his personal email address in one of his answers to my questions. In the promotional 3 days of free communication, non-members are able to communicate with eHarmony members, but they are unable to view the member's pictures. So Mr. Mark initiated communication with me sight unseen and solely based on what he read on my profile. Kudos to him for that alone! Online dating is crazy enough....let alone trying to talk to someone you have no idea what they look like. We've exchanged emails everyday this week (yes, I know, its only Wed...but still). We have also exchange pictures and tonight we exchanged phone numbers. We'll see what happens with this one.
Candidate #3
Name: Brad, Match.com
Age/Height: 38/5'10
Occupation: Self-employed
What I like about him: He is really cute! He thinks I'm really cute! works for me! haha!
So along with all the wonderful rain we've been getting in Socal....I finally have decent date candidates!
Candidate #1
Name: Matt, Match.com
Age/Height: 38/6'0
Occupation: Plumber
What I like about him: he's a cool guy. simple. easy to talk to. he knows how to fix stuff. he works with his hands. he's a guys guy. he likes to camp...we have not discussed what I consider camping (staying at the Best Western near the camp site) vs his idea of camping (tent, sleeping bag, sleeping on the floor). We've been talking since last week. Phone conversations are great. He is the first guy I have ever texted with that texts "ttyl". haha! Kinda cute...makes me smile that he does that. We have made plans to meet this upcoming Sat. Everytime we finish a phone conversations he says, "I am really looking forward to meeting you". That makes me smile too.
Candidate #2
Name: Mark, eHarmony (Yes....someone from eHarmony....keep reading)
Age/Height: 42/5'7
Occupation: Doctor
What I like about him: He's funny. A sense of humor is a must for me. big time. based on his pictures, he is not the type of guy i usually go for, but I also have to take into account that what I have been selecting for myself, has not necessarily been working for me. So, I am open to new experiences and new people. He is not an actual member of eHarmony (go figure). He did the whole "communicate for free" for 3 days promotion. Smart guy, cause he included his personal email address in one of his answers to my questions. In the promotional 3 days of free communication, non-members are able to communicate with eHarmony members, but they are unable to view the member's pictures. So Mr. Mark initiated communication with me sight unseen and solely based on what he read on my profile. Kudos to him for that alone! Online dating is crazy enough....let alone trying to talk to someone you have no idea what they look like. We've exchanged emails everyday this week (yes, I know, its only Wed...but still). We have also exchange pictures and tonight we exchanged phone numbers. We'll see what happens with this one.
Candidate #3
Name: Brad, Match.com
Age/Height: 38/5'10
Occupation: Self-employed
What I like about him: He is really cute! He thinks I'm really cute! works for me! haha!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Failure leads to Un-Failure?
Seems like lately I have been failing at being patient. My lack of patience brings me frustration, stress, and anxiety. Below are the situations:
1. Home repairs and my mother: what a terrible combination. It seems like I have to explain everything to her S-L-O-W-L-Y, which of course drives me crazy. Home repairs: omg...I am so tired of making decisions. I am so tired of my weekend drinking money going to cabinet hardware. wtf! thats not going to help me achieve a nice warm buzz.
2. My staff: I also have to speak to her S-L-O-W-L-Y. This one kills me the most, because there is not suppose to be a language barrier.
3. eHarmony: can I tell you how I am starting to detest eHarmony. Who can I contact for a full refund? I mean, its been about a month and I have yet to be matched up with someone who I like....and most importantly that likes me back. wtf?
4. My battle with the bulge. Ugh...every monday I begin my new diet. Today was not a good day. The only bright side is that I don't feel like a stuffed sausage in my jeans, so at least I have that going for me.
Things I have done to help myself and stop my Pity Party:
1. I speak slowly and patiently when conversing with my mother. And I keep telling her that it is important for me that she is happy. I now give her options "A" or "B"....not "A-E". Saves me a lot of grief. Weekend drinking money was put to good use. I purchased very nice cabinet hardware and I'm looking forward to seeing them on my beautiful new kitchen cabinets. I'll add pictures of my 3 month gray hair trigger. I swear, all this home improvement BS has resulted in 4 new gray hair sprouts. Now I have 7 gray hairs on my head!
2. My lame staff....I have started saying, "Please stop making mistakes". Not sure if this will work. This is still a work-in-progress. to be continued....oh, I need to get started on her mid-year review. I think she needs to be scared into thinking.
3. I revised my profile on eHarmony with a response to the following question:
Question #13 = Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
Answer #13 = Some additional information....Yeah, I have some additional information. eHarmony kinda blows! How long must I wait for an actual "Match" that I like and likes me back? So far, its been lots of mis-matches. I wonder if there is a help desk so I can open a ticket.
Not sure if the above will assist me in attracting a potential man-friend...but who gives a shit. Its not like what I had before was working. Hopefully this will attract someone like me....fed up with all this online dating BS and with a sense of humor. Heck, I'll even settle for some hate mail.
4. I had a wonderful dinner consisting of the following:
1 Spicy McChicken
1 Small French Fries
1 bottled water
And it was yummmmy!
1. Home repairs and my mother: what a terrible combination. It seems like I have to explain everything to her S-L-O-W-L-Y, which of course drives me crazy. Home repairs: omg...I am so tired of making decisions. I am so tired of my weekend drinking money going to cabinet hardware. wtf! thats not going to help me achieve a nice warm buzz.
2. My staff: I also have to speak to her S-L-O-W-L-Y. This one kills me the most, because there is not suppose to be a language barrier.
3. eHarmony: can I tell you how I am starting to detest eHarmony. Who can I contact for a full refund? I mean, its been about a month and I have yet to be matched up with someone who I like....and most importantly that likes me back. wtf?
4. My battle with the bulge. Ugh...every monday I begin my new diet. Today was not a good day. The only bright side is that I don't feel like a stuffed sausage in my jeans, so at least I have that going for me.
Things I have done to help myself and stop my Pity Party:
1. I speak slowly and patiently when conversing with my mother. And I keep telling her that it is important for me that she is happy. I now give her options "A" or "B"....not "A-E". Saves me a lot of grief. Weekend drinking money was put to good use. I purchased very nice cabinet hardware and I'm looking forward to seeing them on my beautiful new kitchen cabinets. I'll add pictures of my 3 month gray hair trigger. I swear, all this home improvement BS has resulted in 4 new gray hair sprouts. Now I have 7 gray hairs on my head!
2. My lame staff....I have started saying, "Please stop making mistakes". Not sure if this will work. This is still a work-in-progress. to be continued....oh, I need to get started on her mid-year review. I think she needs to be scared into thinking.
3. I revised my profile on eHarmony with a response to the following question:
Question #13 = Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
Answer #13 = Some additional information....Yeah, I have some additional information. eHarmony kinda blows! How long must I wait for an actual "Match" that I like and likes me back? So far, its been lots of mis-matches. I wonder if there is a help desk so I can open a ticket.
Not sure if the above will assist me in attracting a potential man-friend...but who gives a shit. Its not like what I had before was working. Hopefully this will attract someone like me....fed up with all this online dating BS and with a sense of humor. Heck, I'll even settle for some hate mail.
4. I had a wonderful dinner consisting of the following:
1 Spicy McChicken
1 Small French Fries
1 bottled water
And it was yummmmy!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
WTF....Guys are Lame!
Ok......so like maybe 1 month ago, I had a bit of a fling with a guy I met at a club. He was tall, dark, handsome (TD&H) , AND spoke with an accent, rides a motorcycle, very masculine, and terribly sexy. Our entire relationship can be summarized as follows: we meet on a Friday night, talked on the phone twice on Saturday, texted most of Sunday, and met up for some 'sexy times' on Monday night. The 'sexy time' was fun.....and I learned a lot about myself physically and emotionally.
I thought I could handle a random no strings attached 'sexy time" encounter, but I ended up "chicking-out" at the end of it all. I was not able to just call it a day and turn myself off from the experience. Instead I went through the whole chick thing: Is he going to call me? I wonder when we're going to see each other again? Do I really want to see him again? What does he want from all of this? And of course as I am going through all of this mental torture, my TD&H is pretty much dunzo with me.
As a very frank Englishman put it, "Egh. Fuck it. Its done. Move on."
And it was those frank words from the Englishman that slapped me across the face and back into reality. I got over it. I filed it away in my Library 0f Life under "Tried it, but I am just not that kind of girl".
Lets fast foward to tonight. As I am getting ready to retire for the evening, I take my phone out of my purse to recharge for tomorrow, and I see a missed text from......(insert drum roll).....TD&H. It gets better....he writes me the following most profound text, "Hey".
Hahaha!!! What a douche. Guys are Lame!
I thought I could handle a random no strings attached 'sexy time" encounter, but I ended up "chicking-out" at the end of it all. I was not able to just call it a day and turn myself off from the experience. Instead I went through the whole chick thing: Is he going to call me? I wonder when we're going to see each other again? Do I really want to see him again? What does he want from all of this? And of course as I am going through all of this mental torture, my TD&H is pretty much dunzo with me.
As a very frank Englishman put it, "Egh. Fuck it. Its done. Move on."
And it was those frank words from the Englishman that slapped me across the face and back into reality. I got over it. I filed it away in my Library 0f Life under "Tried it, but I am just not that kind of girl".
Lets fast foward to tonight. As I am getting ready to retire for the evening, I take my phone out of my purse to recharge for tomorrow, and I see a missed text from......(insert drum roll).....TD&H. It gets better....he writes me the following most profound text, "Hey".
Hahaha!!! What a douche. Guys are Lame!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
A Girl's Guide to Crappy Blog Titles
Ok, so when I came up with A Girl's Guide to (fill-in-the-blank), I thought it was cute. Now after post...what is this....4....I am getting sick of seeing it. So I am going to abbreviate. Or even better, I may just stop referring to it and just give my postings regular titles, like a normal person.
Dunzo.
Dunzo.
A Girl's Guide to Latino Men on eHarmony
What is the deal with Latino men on eHarmony?
As an eHarmony subscriber, you are sent matches that the service selects for you and you are sent to other people as a potential match. Once you receive a match notification, you have the option of beginning communication or you can close the match if you're not interested.
I have noticed an odd trend. Latinos on eHarmony just don't like me. I have been "Closed" by quite a few Latinos. I average about 1-3 per day....whats the deal?? When did I, a Latina, not become appealing to a Latino? I just don't get it.
Why do the e'ffn Latinos on eHarmony not like me?!?! Maybe I am suffering from the same thing black women suffer from when their black men go for the white girls. hahaha.....I love that I can just write that!
As an eHarmony subscriber, you are sent matches that the service selects for you and you are sent to other people as a potential match. Once you receive a match notification, you have the option of beginning communication or you can close the match if you're not interested.
I have noticed an odd trend. Latinos on eHarmony just don't like me. I have been "Closed" by quite a few Latinos. I average about 1-3 per day....whats the deal?? When did I, a Latina, not become appealing to a Latino? I just don't get it.
Why do the e'ffn Latinos on eHarmony not like me?!?! Maybe I am suffering from the same thing black women suffer from when their black men go for the white girls. hahaha.....I love that I can just write that!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
A Girl's Guide to Condoms
Ok...so today I purchased condoms for the first time ever. I am contemplating a possible "encounter" with a man and I want to go into it fully prepared. So I went to the drug store to make my very SATC purchase of condoms and a bikini kit where I was confronted with something odd. The condoms were locked up in a case. wtf? AND there are like 300 different types of condoms. Various sizes, dry, extra lube, flavored, colors, ribbed, "for his pleasure" (doesn't he get enough guaranteed pleasure), and then I found the "for her pleasure" (no we're talking). So I am talking to my friend on the phone about which to purchase. Then I notice the price. The smaller packs are 3 for $5.99 = $2/condom. I had no idea.....but I suppose it is a small price to pay for preventing unwanteds (unwanteds = surprise preggers, stds, weird stuff on your tulip).
And then I realize that in order to make my purchase, I had to locate a store attendant to unlock the gates to my carefree encounter!! O-M-G!!
I look over to the pharmacists station and its some weird dude with glasses. I scan the nearby isles...and YES....I spot a female store attendant. I walk over to her and say, "Excuse me....I would like to purchase something from the locked case over there". I point in the general direction of the condom case. She says,"What locked case?" To which I responded, in a low voice as I lean towards her, "the condom case". The store attendant has absolutely no facial expression as she looks at me and says, "I don't have a key to that case". We then have a moment of awkward silence to which I'm thinking ....omg is she serious? So I smile and say,"can you please locate the key so you can help me out". Expressionless, she starts walking towards the front of the store. I wait for her as she fetches the key from the front desk. I start walking towards the condom case where we meet and she asks which one I want. By this time I have had enough time to think about which one I want and I select the Trojans For Her Pleasure. The expressionless attendant unlocks the case, reaches for the lavender box of condoms, and I extend my eager little paw. Just when I think I am about to be in possession of the key to my carefree encounter, the expressionless attendant looks at me and says, "I have to walk it up to the front and you can pick it up there". Awesome....
So I begin my walk behind the expressionless store attendant to the check-out counter to complete my purchase of a bikini kit and a 3 pack box of condoms. And of course, there is a guy at the check-out stand. I walk straight to the male cashier, I place my bikini kit on the counter, he scans it, and then I say, "I am also purchasing the other item". He says, "what?". To which I respond, "the other item....purple box...the condoms." "Oh, right." I was like, OMG, what must be going through this guys head....this chick is here with a bikini hair removal kit and condoms! So he reaches for the condoms and scans my second item, and then says, "Do you have a Savons card?". O-M-G!
And then I realize that in order to make my purchase, I had to locate a store attendant to unlock the gates to my carefree encounter!! O-M-G!!
I look over to the pharmacists station and its some weird dude with glasses. I scan the nearby isles...and YES....I spot a female store attendant. I walk over to her and say, "Excuse me....I would like to purchase something from the locked case over there". I point in the general direction of the condom case. She says,"What locked case?" To which I responded, in a low voice as I lean towards her, "the condom case". The store attendant has absolutely no facial expression as she looks at me and says, "I don't have a key to that case". We then have a moment of awkward silence to which I'm thinking ....omg is she serious? So I smile and say,"can you please locate the key so you can help me out". Expressionless, she starts walking towards the front of the store. I wait for her as she fetches the key from the front desk. I start walking towards the condom case where we meet and she asks which one I want. By this time I have had enough time to think about which one I want and I select the Trojans For Her Pleasure. The expressionless attendant unlocks the case, reaches for the lavender box of condoms, and I extend my eager little paw. Just when I think I am about to be in possession of the key to my carefree encounter, the expressionless attendant looks at me and says, "I have to walk it up to the front and you can pick it up there". Awesome....
So I begin my walk behind the expressionless store attendant to the check-out counter to complete my purchase of a bikini kit and a 3 pack box of condoms. And of course, there is a guy at the check-out stand. I walk straight to the male cashier, I place my bikini kit on the counter, he scans it, and then I say, "I am also purchasing the other item". He says, "what?". To which I respond, "the other item....purple box...the condoms." "Oh, right." I was like, OMG, what must be going through this guys head....this chick is here with a bikini hair removal kit and condoms! So he reaches for the condoms and scans my second item, and then says, "Do you have a Savons card?". O-M-G!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
A Girl's Guide to Blogging
I was inspired to begin this blog by a good friend of mine who typically does what she sets her mind to. So here I go......
I am going to approach this blog like I do almost everything in life......going to make the rules as I go. Tonight I am sitting in bed, 1/2 listening 1/8 watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Its a new show on the Bravo network. Not too long ago Bravo was mostly considered a gay channel....or maybe I considered it the gay channel because I remember this show was on where gay couples chronicled thier gay partnership ceremonies (aka what Prop 8 is trying to eliminate) and then Top Chef started...also kinda gay....but so entertaining....and then Project Runway....OMG. I want Tim Gunn to be my friend. Life on the D-List, Millionare Matchmaker, Real Housewives of Orange County, Real Housewives of New York, Flipping Out, Project Rachael Zoe....and some others. Needless to say, my obsession these days besides The Hills, is Bravo.
Yikes, not sure where I was going with this....oh yeah- Let the Gays stay/get married. They are not hurting anyone, they are not trying to join your religion, and kids will find out about the gays sooner or later. If you're a good parent......you will know what to say if your kid asks you why Timmy has 2 daddies and he only has one......"I tried, but your Daddy said no".
I am going to approach this blog like I do almost everything in life......going to make the rules as I go. Tonight I am sitting in bed, 1/2 listening 1/8 watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Its a new show on the Bravo network. Not too long ago Bravo was mostly considered a gay channel....or maybe I considered it the gay channel because I remember this show was on where gay couples chronicled thier gay partnership ceremonies (aka what Prop 8 is trying to eliminate) and then Top Chef started...also kinda gay....but so entertaining....and then Project Runway....OMG. I want Tim Gunn to be my friend. Life on the D-List, Millionare Matchmaker, Real Housewives of Orange County, Real Housewives of New York, Flipping Out, Project Rachael Zoe....and some others. Needless to say, my obsession these days besides The Hills, is Bravo.
Yikes, not sure where I was going with this....oh yeah- Let the Gays stay/get married. They are not hurting anyone, they are not trying to join your religion, and kids will find out about the gays sooner or later. If you're a good parent......you will know what to say if your kid asks you why Timmy has 2 daddies and he only has one......"I tried, but your Daddy said no".
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